Another Chance
by zatask
Summary: A new student enters school with the girls. MC is nowhere to be seen, will he be the new fifth member of the club? Monika seems to know more that what she's letting on, are we ready for Another Chance at the literature club?
1. Chapter 1: Blank Slate

Chapter 1—Blank Slate

I groggily awoke on Monday morning, my arms still sore from moving into my new home. My mom just transferred to a new town for work (something to do with insurance), and, just like another piece of luggage or furniture, I was packed up and shipped away from my old life. I'd be lying if I said I'd miss what we "left behind"; there wasn't much to leave behind in the first place. I had no real friends and wasn't close to any relatives other than my mom (even that's a stretch). My parents divorced over ten years ago, and, while I keep in touch with my dad, things between him and me remain awkward at best. I'm closer to my mom, but she's a busy woman. Because of her job, she constantly travels to different regions and spends multiple nights away from home at a time; I'll basically be living at this new house on my own. I don't understand why we moved if she'll rarely be home anyway, but I guess it makes no difference.

My mom ensured I wasn't going to lose a single day of school, though. She enrolled me in class and set me up with a uniform so I could attend school right after we finished unpacking over the weekend. She probably didn't consider that joining class in the middle of the semester wouldn't help me keep a low profile like I wanted, so, as I put on my red tie and buttoned up my grey-brown blazer, I mentally prepared myself to bear the label of "new kid" for the rest of the semester (only if I didn't have to transfer schools again; else I might be stuck as "new kid" until graduation—ugh).

After making my way around the unpacked boxes (stuff scattered everywhere) and realizing my mom was nowhere to be seen (figures), I left my house on the way to school. As I drew nearer, I started to recognize more and more people wearing the same style of uniform. This confirmed I was going the right way, but at the same time I began to feel increasingly anxious. It wasn't a matter of how or who, but more a matter of when someone would start picking on me. _What would it be this time?_ I wondered. _My long hair? My timid nature? Being the new kid? Having the fragile body of a less-than-buff young man that loudly proclaims, "Kick me!"?_ Just as I began to space out, however, I heard a faint voice draw closer.

"Sorry! Excuse me, please! I'm in a hurry!" repeated a young woman as she ran closer to me. As I turned around to see what was going on, I quickly sidestepped to let her continue on her way.

"I'm sorry!" she said again with an embarrassed smile as she continued racing toward the school grounds. I paused to take in the scene; a girl with long, brown hair held in a ponytail by a giant, white bow (and a flash of green eyes?) made her way through the crowd, running as if her life depended on it.

 _What the hell?_ I thought while scratching my head. I must admit, she was pretty cute (from what I could tell), but why would she be in such a hurry? _It's not like we're run—_ **RIIIIIIIING!**

— _ing late!_ I finished and, just like the girl, took off running as the school bell rang. _Hell, I don't even know where my classroom is. Well, so much for a positive first impression with my teacher; maybe I should try to play the rebel? … Hmmm, better not._

Despite being purposely misled by my fellow classmates (I was finally pointed in the right direction by a girl with lengthy purple hair and a … mature body), I finally arrived to my first class. As I opened the door, I felt (more than saw) around 20 pairs of eyes simultaneously shift in my direction. _Great_ , _I interrupted the lecture. So much for keeping a low profile …_

"You must be Daniel, then?" quipped the teacher, not bothering to hide the fact she already hated me for arriving late on my first day.

"Yes ma'am, I'm really sorr—"

"Ten minutes late, sir. However, I will let it slide as this is your first day. Don't let it happen again."

"I'm sorry …" I spoke while lowering my head in shame.

"You will sit next to Sayori. Because you enrolled in the middle of the semester, you must ensure that you leave no gaps in your knowledge. Sayori!"

"Huh?" A girl with peach-colored hair cut relatively short and adorned with a red bow turned toward the teacher. Even with all the ruckus caused by my entrance, she didn't seem to have been paying much attention to begin with.

"Class!" the teacher declared. "This is Daniel, your new classmate. He just moved to our town last weekend, so I hope you all will help him get around school and around town. Now, please sit, Daniel, and allow us to continue the lesson."

Still ashamed by my late arrival, I silently sat at the desk next to Sayori as the teacher continued her lesson. _Math. Now I understand why this girl's thoughts were drifting away from the lesson; daydreaming is more engaging than friggin' algebra._ I turned to Sayori, who was seemingly doing her best to keep awake by doodling in her notebook. She noticed me looking at her, and I quickly returned my attention to my own notebook, hoping to avoid a potentially awkward situation. However, she leaned toward me and, in an instant, drew a smiley face on the corner of my notebook page. Surprised, I sat back as her attention wandered off again. After making sure our teacher's back was turned, I stretched my arm out and stealthily drew a similar smiley face on her notebook. _Heh, I don't think she noticed …_

"Hmph!" she exhaled as she turned around and drew a little face with its tongue sticking out on my notebook as retaliation. I looked up to see the very same expression displayed on her face. At first, I was worried I was annoying her, but the sparkle in her clear blue eyes indicated that she was only playing around. After a few more rounds of doodling back-and-forth, the bell rang, signifying the end of class.

"That was all?" I thought aloud, believing the class had passed rather quickly.

"Maybe when you arrive on time, you'll notice that the class periods are longer, young man," said the teacher, overhearing my voice.

I stood in silence, embarrassed yet again as everyone began to pick up their belongings and leave the classroom.

Sayori turned to me and smiled as she gathered her belongings. "Hi! I'm Sayori! What's your name?" she asked.

 _Wow, she really wasn't paying attention when I came in the room, was she?_ "Hey Sayori. My name is Daniel." I forced a smile in return, struggling to overcome the social anxiety I felt at introducing myself to someone new.

"Hi, Daniel! I don't think I've seen you before. Are you new around here?"

"Ummm … The teacher mentioned I just enrolled here when I arrived to class; weren't you paying attention?"

Sayori giggled and avoided eye contact with the teacher as we walked out of the classroom together and into the hallway. "I fell asleep during class again, ehehe. I only woke up when the teacher called my name and told you to sit next to me." She stopped and turned to me suddenly. "Hey, how about we go grab a snack? If you're new here, I'd better show you around!" she exclaimed excitedly, wrenching my arm out of its socket as she dragged me down the hall. _Man, how can she have so much energy?_

The rest of the day proceeded about as normally as I'd expected. I ended up having Sayori in some of my other classes, but she kept herself focused on the lessons; I guess our doodle war won't continue until next math class. She led me around the school grounds and most of the school itself, chatting all the while. I hoped Sayori didn't mind my silence, as I was content to just listen to what she had to say (considering how frequently she spoke, I don't think it was a problem). She asked me after school if I wanted to walk home with her but didn't seem too disappointed upon learning that our houses are practically in opposite directions from the school.

"It was great meeting you, Dan! We're gonna have a lot of fun now that we're best friends! See you tomorrow!"

 _Wait, "best friends"?_ But before I was able to say anything or even wave goodbye, she began skipping off away from the school. _How can she still be so energetic after a full day of school?_ After waiting until her figure disappeared over the horizon, I realized I should get going too. _Hm, is that girl with the white bow from this morning around? … Guess not._ However, before stepping off to head home, I heard some voices behind me. _Right. I haven't been bullied enough yet today._ I braced myself.

"Hahaha! You're too precious! You almost look like a boy!"

 _Oh, the long hair and weak build barely let me qualify as male; that one's new_ , I thought as I turned around toward the voice. I was about to respond when I realized the comment wasn't directed at me, but instead at a girl who looked to be from a younger grade than Sayori and me. She was rather short, but what stood out the most was her pink hair: very cu—

"You're really cute, Natsuki!" said the guy whose earlier comment I thought was directed at me. He had clearly hit a nerve, because the girl standing in front of him had her arms crossed, looking about ready to explode.

"DON'T CALL ME CUTE!" she yelled suddenly, turning a few curious heads in our direction.

… _And there's the explosion._

"Fine then, you're adorable, 'tsuki. See you tomorrow! Hahaha!" He grinned as he walked away from her.

Natsuki stood there for a moment, fuming silently, then kicked a rock with everything she had. The rock flew away much farther and faster than I expected; if it had hit anything (the bully's head, for example), it would've done some serious damage. _She must be very strong: noted._ However, the kick carried Natsuki too far forward, causing her to lose her balance and comically fall onto the sidewalk in a sitting position. Some other students snickered as they passed by. I tried my best to not laugh too as I walked toward her and offered my hand to help her stand.

"Don't touch me! I don't need help! I'm fine!" Natsuki shouted, standing up as I deferentially raised my palms in the air.

"Say something! Or are you some sort of mime? If you are, you aren't in the right school!" she yelled again. I backed up a couple steps. I didn't want to become her punching bag, especially after I saw what she did to that rock.

"Sorry … I just wanted to help."

"Well, I already told you that I don't need your help. Bye." Turning on her heel, Natsuki quickly left without another glance in my direction. Watching her go, I shook my head silently and let out an exasperated sigh. _Man, I can't handle this kind of interaction. I'd rather just go home._

As I entered my house, I noticed a note from my mom on the kitchen counter that I must've missed in the morning:

 _Daniel, I won't be back home until late tonight and need to leave tomorrow for a meeting out of town. I'll see you tomorrow morning before I leave. Feel free to use this money to buy yourself dinner tonight. We'll talk about school tomorrow over breakfast, but I hope you had a good day!_

I folded up the note and grabbed the money beside it. The sun was already setting, so I decided to leave immediately to look for a store and pick up some instant noodles (I'm no cook; I really should learn since my mom is gone so often, but I don't see the point in trying after repeatedly subjecting my taste buds to my abysmal culinary skills).

After walking a couple blocks, I finally glimpsed the light of a convenience store sign emanating from around the street corner. Just as I was ready to make the turn, I noticed a familiar white bow fluttering in the wind. Squinting through the dusk, I recognized the brown-haired girl from this morning standing still in front of an empty plot of land in the middle of the neighborhood. It was difficult to tell from where I stood, but it didn't look like she was doing much: just … staring, unaware of the world around her. _That's weird … What could she be looking at? Shouldn't there be a house there? Maybe I should approach her? … Nah; she looks like she wants to be left alone._ Without warning, she lifted her arm, almost in a trance—almost like she was … reaching for something _. This is wrong. I shouldn't be watching; this feels like a private moment._ My stomach growled suddenly, snapping me out of my reverie and reminding me why I was here in the first place. I swiftly walked into the convenience store, thanking the cashier as I bought my noodle dinner. As I began the walk back to my house, I quickly checked, curious (but not wanting to intrude on her privacy) if the girl with the white bow still stood in front of the empty lot. As my eyes scanned the growing darkness, however, she was nowhere to be seen.

After finishing dinner, I unpacked my school notebooks and saw the doodles Sayori made during math class, realizing I never asked for her phone number. _Wow, this "best friends" thing sure got off to a good start. I guess I'll ask for Sayori's number eventually. Hopefully she'll ask for mine first; then I won't have to worry about_ _breaking that social barrier. Which reminds me …_ My thoughts turned to the brown-haired girl I saw this morning and later outside the convenience store. _Should I introduce myself to her? She was pretty cute. But what was she doing earlier tonight, staring off into the distance by herself like that?_

Even though I spent the rest of the night playing video games, I couldn't get the girl with the white ribbon out of my head. _Why can't I stop thinking about her? I've only met her twice. It can't be a crush … right? Then why do I feel drawn toward her?_ Unfortunately, my swirling thoughts offered no answers as I drifted off to sleep.

The next day, everything began as expected: a shower, breakfast with my mom, and a walk to school. I waited at the school entrance for a few minutes to see if I could meet Sayori or catch another glimpse of that brown-haired girl that I couldn't seem to stop thinking about. Hell, I even kept an eye out for Natsuki, worried that she was still being picked on by that guy from yesterday (not that I could do much about it; that guy looked almost double my size, and Natsuki appeared to have more strength than me anyway). I was unsuccessful in spotting any of them, however, and started walking toward class. On my way, I noticed the girl with the purple hair (and … curvaceous figure) rise from her sitting position in the grass outside the school and begin to walk to her first class. As she adjusted the book in her hands (I spotted a creepy-looking eye on the cover), she failed to notice a pen drop from her bag and land on the ground. Wanting to repay her help locating my class yesterday, I went to pick the pen up but lost the girl amidst the crowd before I could return it. Hopefully she has a spare pen for today.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAN!" yelled an excited voice. I watched Sayori sprint toward me, eyes glimmering and the same bow from yesterday bouncing up and down with each step. _Hm, I guess she wears it every day._

"Sayori?! I thought you were already in class! Why are you arriving so late?" I said with an accusatory glare.

"I should ask you the same question, mister! Ms. Hudson will flay you alive you if you arrive late again!"

"But we don't have math today, I should be going to …" I trailed off as I checked my schedule. "… history class! Did you seriously forget which day of the week it is?"

"Ehehe." She giggled while playing with the tips of her index fingers. "I guess I got distracted. I was late today because I was running some errands."

"Errands?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes! Um, now that you mention it … Dan?" She smiled at me, those bright blue eyes (which were actually quite pretty, I noticed) sparkling again. "Have you thought about joining a club yet?"


	2. Chapter 2: I don't think I've seen you

Chapter 2—"I Don't Think I've Seen You Before"

"A club?" I asked Sayori, feeling rather confused.

"Yes! A club! Are you telling me that they didn't have student clubs where you used to live?" Sayori paused for a second, trying to catch her breath after sprinting down the hall.

"I—I guess they did, but I was never part of one. No one mentioned anything about student clubs when I enrolled, so I never gave them any thought. I don't even know what clubs are offered here," I replied cautiously, not sure I was liking where this was going.

"There are clubs for almost anything, Dan! They exist so students can hang out and enjoy activities related to a certain topic, such as film, anime, or debate … There's even a literature club," she added, strangely nervous all of a sudden.

"Sayori, there are a lot of clubs to pick from; I don't know which one I'd even want to join. Besides, I'm not sure if I'm ready to join a club this soon after moving here. I know only a few people out of the entire student body, and you're the only one who's bothered to talk to me …"

"Well, that's only more reason to find a club you'll enjoy!" she said, beaming. "You'll make a lot of friends! Come on! It'll be fun!"

I pulled out my phone to check the time. "Sayori! We have to move! We're already late for class, and I don't want to get yelled at again for arriving late!"

"D—Dan! But I wanted to ask you—"

"I'll look at the clubs later, Sayori! We need to go!" I interrupted.

"B—But … Dan!" She turned away from me, her voice suddenly quiet. "At least promise that you'll try to join a club … Okay?" she asked while staring at the ground. _Sayori is acting a little strange … Why does this matter so much to her? Is she worried about me for some reason?_

"Okay, 'yori, I promise I will." I blinked once, surprised at how easily the nickname left my mouth. I hadn't planned on becoming this familiar with her so soon (especially since I only met her yesterday), but the nickname just felt … right for some reason. _If joining a club means so much to her, it's the least I can do in return for the kindness she's shown me._ Sayori only smiled back at me. I'd seen her smile many times already, but this smile was more authentic, somehow: melancholic but genuine. Sayori came closer to me, gently taking my arm in her hands. "I truly appreciate that. Do you mind if I walk you to your next class?"

I was even more speechless than usual. _Not only is a girl holding on to my arm for the first time in my life, but she's also offering to walk me to class._ I was worried that Sayori would get in trouble for being so late to class, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. _She can handle herself this one time, right?_ Sayori looked up at me, her eyes sparkling as we walked together in silence.

Luckily, Sayori and I actually shared our next class (history), and neither of us ended up in trouble for being late. However, I was puzzled why Sayori didn't mention that we had the same class when I pulled out my schedule in the hall. _Maybe she just didn't think it was important? No, that doesn't seem right. Could she have actually forgotten the teacher's name? It was right on my schedule … She's already proven to be somewhat forgetful, but I don't think even she could actually forget a teacher's name after half a semester of class._ Curious, I leaned toward Sayori's desk.

"Hey, Sayori, are you okay?"

"Huh?" she responded in her usual tone of voice. "Sure, Dan, why wouldn't I be?"

"First of all, you're not usually so silent, but most importantly … you're holding your book upside down!"

Sayori quickly closed her book, looking down and avoiding eye contact. "Ehehe. I guess I am spacing out a little bit," she giggled.

I rolled my eyes. "That's why I'm asking if you're fine, Sayori."

"I'm fine! I just have some things on my mind: responsibilities and such," she explained. "Don't worry about me!"

"Alright." I decided to go the extra mile. "If you ever need help with anything, you know you can tell me, right? I'll help you out!" I smiled at her. _I know she'd offer the same for me._

Sayori kept silent, but her compassionate and reassuring smile was all I needed to see to know that everything would be just fine.

Sayori and I ended up having several more classes together throughout the day; I kept an eye on her when possible to make sure she paid attention to class. However, I also searched for the girl with the brown hair and white bow in between classes. The sight of her staring at that empty lot last night burned into my mind. _Maybe she lived at that address before, and the house was demolished? Maybe it was a friend's house—a boyfriend's house, even? No … A house could never have existed there in the first place; I didn't see any plumbing or electric lines. Then why was the lot left empty?_ Thinking about it only made me more puzzled, but I soon had other things to worry about. As I met back up with Sayori for our last class of the day, I started to regret my promise to join a club. _What if I don't belong in any clubs? Maybe I can attend only one or two meetings before quitting and explaining to Sayori that joining a club just isn't for me._

Near the end of class, Sayori suddenly stood up and walked toward the teacher, leaving a note on my desk as she passed by. She whispered something into the teacher's ear before quickly leaving the room.

 _Is Sayori okay? She's been behaving oddly ever since she asked me about joining a club._ I looked at the note she left me:

 _On the board at the back of the room there's the club list, check it out! Remember, you promised! :D 3_

Putting the note down, I turned around and spotted the list. _I'll read that as soon as—_ **RIIIIIIIING!**

 _Guess I'll read it now, then._ I walked over to the board and started mumbling to myself. "Clubs, clubs, clubs …" _Debate club? No. Anime club? I'd rather not be picked on any more than necessary. Cinema club? Meh. This is too difficult_ , I thought, too concerned about where Sayori went to decide on a club. Suddenly, my vision went dark as someone's hands reached around the back of my head to cover my eyes. I instinctively tried to swat the other person's hands away when I heard a giggle. A very familiar giggle.

"Ehehe∼! I'm sorry, Dan, but I really, really don't want to risk you going somewhere else after all the trouble I went through!" Sure enough, it was Sayori.

I blindly shuffled around while trying to keep my balance and avoid crashing into a desk. "Sayori?! What are you doing?!"

"I'll let you see only if you promise to follow me," she teased, removing one of her fingers to allow me the barest amount of sight.

"You've made me make a lot of promises today, Sayori. You better not make a habit out of this!"

"Promise me or else!" she demanded.

"Fine, I promise I'll go with you! Just let me go!"

"Ehehe. Yay!" she exclaimed as she let go. Staggering around, I almost slammed my head into the wall as I failed to regain my composure.

"Let's go, Dan! You promised!" she said while walking out of the classroom. _Oh boy, here we go …_

I grabbed my bag and ran after Sayori as she lead me upstairs to the school's third floor. _I thought only seniors had class on this floor, but she seems sure of where she's leading me._

"Come on, Dan! Over here!" Sayori waved at me in front of a classroom door. I followed her as she stepped inside. Quickly glancing around the room, I became petrified upon noticing that Sayori and I weren't alone. Three other girls sat around the room, engaged in their own activities. _It looks like Sayori found a club for me to join; I just wish she gave me some warning before dragging me in here._ My eyes were drawn to a head of pink hair: Natsuki, whom I recognized from yesterday. She hadn't noticed me yet because she was preoccupied with some objects in the back of the classroom, moving in and out of a nearby closet. _I hope she doesn't yell at me again._ Sitting at a desk on the opposite side of the room with her nose in a book was another familiar figure with long purple hair. _Ah, she's the one who lost her pen. I should give it back today, but I'll wait a bit until I fully understand what's going on here._ My eyes traveled to the last girl, widening in surprise as I again beheld a familiar face. It was her: the girl with the white bow, brown hair, and green eyes. She too didn't seem to notice me, organizing some papers at the teacher's desk. Although I was unable to get my mind off her yesterday, today she looked decidedly normal: nothing special about her at all. I was surprised to see her here, though, of all places. _Wait, what club is this?_

"Dan! Let me present the club!" Sayori broke the silence enthusiastically, bringing Natsuki toward me and drawing the attention of the other two girls. _I feel self-conscious already …_

Natsuki, however, only moved a few steps in my direction before immediately turning around and walking away. "A boy? Seriously, Sayori? Way to kill the atmosphere!" she criticized over her shoulder. _She certainly isn't overjoyed to see me. No surprises there._

"This is Natsuki, Dan! Isn't she the cutest?" gushed Sayori, chasing after to hug Natsuki.

 _Oh, no. I don't think Natsuki likes that word …_ Natsuki, however, didn't react as she did yesterday, only shaking off Sayori's hug with an exasperated sigh and continuing to move objects in and out of the closet.

The girl with the purple hair stood up, closing the book I saw her reading this morning, but remained silent.

"And here's Yuri! She's very beautiful and … and … Ummm …" Sayori trailed off.

The girl with the white bow brushed back her hair before intervening with a smile. "Were you going to say that Yuri is the smartest individual in the club, Sayori?"

"Yes! Yuri is very smart, Dan!" Sayori added, practically bouncing up and down with excitement. I just smiled shyly at Yuri.

"N—Nice to meet you, Dan … That's your name, r—right?" she said. She seemed quite nervous even though Sayori had introduced us. _Not that I'm any better._

"Uh … Yeah! I'm Dan. It's nice to meet you too, Yuri," I muttered awkwardly, exercising great care to keep from stuttering myself. _I don't want her to think I'm making fun of her._

Sayori spoke before turning and walking to the brown-haired girl. "And this is the club president, Monika!" she ended cheerfully. _Monika. Finally, I learned her name._

"Hi, Dan, nice to meet you! I'm sorry, but I don't think I've seen you before!" Monika said with a warm smile that was probably supposed to comfort me but somehow just made me feel even more out of place instead.

"I—I moved in recently. This is only my second day at school. But …" My mouth kept opening even as my mind kept telling it to shut up. "I have seen you before … Your name is 'Monika,' right?"

"Yes, 'Monika'! But …" She seemed to also feel uncomfortable now. _Great, she probably thinks I'm a creep._ "Where did you see me?" she finished.

"Y—You ran past me as I was walking to school yesterday. I guess you were running late or something." I decided not to mention that I also saw her in front of that empty lot last night.

"Oh! I'm really sorry! I was short on time and I hate to arrive late to class. Ahaha!" Monika seemed to relax a bit.

"Monika arriving late? That's something I have yet to see!" called a snarky voice as Natsuki approached us. "Anyway, what are YOU doing here, new guy? Were you following Sayori, you weirdo?" _Wow, I can practically feel the hostility rolling off her._

"There's no need to be rude, Natsuki," Yuri interrupted shyly.

Sayori spoke before Natsuki could form a retort. "No, I brought Dan here for a reason! Monika said we could use more members, and I thought Dan could use some new friends!" _Thanks, Sayori. A little blunt, but I appreciate the effort to help me out._

"Oh, do you enjoy literature, Dan?" Monika asked.

 _Wait. Literature? Sayori wanted me to join a literature club?! I don't like books or poetry in the slightest … Why would she think I want to be in a literature club?!_

"Well, I actually haven't read in a while …" I said, trying to deflect the question.

Yuri seemed a little disappointed. "Not much of a reader?" she inquired. "Then why did you want to join the club?" _Uh, I think you're getting the wrong impression …_

Monika clapped her hands, (thankfully) saving me from the need to respond. "How about we make some tea and get this meeting started?"

The other girls nodded, although Natsuki still seemed a little annoyed by my presence. I watched the girls rearrange the desks, creating a large table for us all to sit at. Sayori and Monika each took their seats as Yuri and Natsuki went to the back of the room to retrieve a tea set and tray covered in tinfoil, respectively. Although I briefly considered sitting by Monika (she was even cuter than I remembered), I decided to sit with Sayori as I desperately tried to recall everything I know about literature. _I hope I'm not about to embarrass myself …_


	3. Chapter 3: A Part of the Club

Chapter 3—A Part of the Club

I forced my nervousness down as Yuri and Natsuki returned to the table. "You keep all this in here?" I asked. Natsuki placed the tinfoil-covered tray on the table and Yuri began pouring us each tea.

"The teacher gave us permission, so don't let that concern you. Besides, doesn't tea help you enjoy a good book?" Yuri replied.

"I guess you're right," I chuckled, desperately hoping that my reading habits wouldn't become a conversation topic. I haven't recently perused my manga collection, much less read a proper novel (manga is my preferred form of literature, although I have no idea whether this club recognizes it as such). _Why did I let Sayori bring me here?_

After the tea was poured, Natuski prepared to dramatically remove the tray cover. "I hope you're all hungry! Ta-da!" she exclaimed, removing the tinfoil to reveal a set of cupcakes decorated to look like kittens (complete with little whiskers made of icing). _Wow, did Natsuki bake these?_

"Aaah! So cute!" Sayori squealed, overwhelmed. Each girl went on to grab a cupcake. Not sure whether they were only for club members, I glanced over to see Natsuki's expectant stare before taking one myself. My appreciation grew as I noted the detail with which my cupcake was decorated. _If Natsuki baked these, she sure is talented._ I fumbled around before finding a place to take a bite; it almost seemed like a crime to eat something crafted with such talent. Conscious of Natsuki's eyes on me, I tasted the cupcake. _This is delicious!_

"Wow, Natsuki, these are incredible. Did you bake them yourself?" I asked her as the frosting melted on my tongue.

"Heh, surprised? I'm very good at baking," she expressed confidently. I smiled back as I continued enjoying the cupcake, relieved that Natsuki no longer seemed to feel the need to treat me with hostility. _Even though she may be acting a tad arrogant, her confidence in her baking is well-placed; it's more endearing than annoying._ As I finished the thought, I sensed that someone else was staring at me, studying me. I turned my head and saw Monika's gaze quickly drop to her tea. _Did I do something wrong?_

"Your cupcakes were really good, Natsuki!" said Sayori, blue frosting covering her lips. "I told you he would like them too!" Sayori said. Suspicious, I quickly turned to Sayori. _"He"? For how long was Sayori planning to bring me here?_

Natsuki's confident grin abruptly turned into one of embarrassment. "A—Ah, it's not like I baked them for him! I just wanted to share with you guys! He just happened to come to our meeting today, thanks to Sayori!" I raised an eyebrow at Natsuki's outburst but decided not to take it personally.

"Sorry, Natsuki. I just wanted to tell you how cute your cupcakes were; however, knowing how cute you are, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised!" Sayori giggled. _I wouldn't use the c-word around her, Sayori …_

Natuski opened her mouth, paused, then snapped it shut—clearly doing her best to refrain from yelling at Sayori. Monika let out a chuckle from across the table.

Natsuki whirled in her direction. "M—Monika?! What are you laughing about?!"

"Don't worry, Natsuki, I'm not laughing at you," Monika spoke with a smile. "It's just funny how easily you get flustered; Sayori just wanted to compliment how well you bake." Natsuki's expression relaxed as Monika continued. "Besides, I don't see any problem with being cute. Your writing is cute, for example, but that doesn't make it any less interesting!" she finished while drinking the last of her tea.

"DON'T TALK ABOUT MY WRITING!" Natsuki suddenly erupted. _Not again …_

I cautiously interrupted before Monika could respond. "You write, Natsuki?" _I hope she doesn't kill me._

"Eh?" Natsuki seemed caught off guard. "Yeah, I write poetry every once in a while …" she said, her voice now much timider. _She's certainly less confident about her poetry than her baking._

"Well, I don't know much about poetry, but I'd like to read one of your poems someday," I offered shyly. _Did I cross the line?_ Natsuki remained silent, however.

"I understand how she might feel," Yuri interjected, surprising me with her delicate voice. _I think this is the first she's spoken since Natsuki uncovered the cupcakes._ "One's writing can be quite personal. It isn't easy to share; in certain instances, it can be tantamount to the baring of one's very soul."

Sayori perked up. "Does that mean you write too, Yuri?"

"Eh?!" Yuri flinched. "W—Well … Ummm … A little bit," she replied, self-assurance also now gone from her voice.

"Then it's settled!" Monika exclaimed suddenly, causing the rest of us to jump in our seats before all turning to her. "Let's all share poems at our next meeting; since we'll all share, no one will feel nervous!" finished Monika excitedly. _I'd beg to differ … Wait, they don't expect me to participate, do they? I'm not even a club member!_

"I love it!" praised Sayori. "This is why you're Club President, Monika!"

"Hold on a second!" I interrupted, noting the distressed expressions worn by each Yuri and Natsuki. "Do you really think sharing poems is a good idea?"

Monika glanced at me disdainfully. "This is a literature club, Dan. We already read and discuss literature, so I don't see why we shouldn't write literature as well. Didn't Sayori already tell you all about the club?" I sat back, shocked by the change in Monika's demeanor. _She seemed so warm and inviting just minute ago._

"Well … Ehehe∼!" giggled Sayori nervously, looking around at the rest of us as she subconsciously played with her fingertips. I glared at her balefully. _No, Sayori didn't inform me of anything. I had no idea where I was going this afternoon; she basically kidnapped me, in fact._

"What is it, Dan? Are you scared of sharing your poetry?" asked Natsuki with a smirk. "Because I'm not scared, i—if that's what anyone is suggesting!" she hastily added, glancing around the table.

A bead of sweat traveled down the back of my neck. _This is moving way too fast._ "You guys don't expect me to write a poem, right? I mean, I'm not even a club member!"

Yuri looked at me quizzically, tilting her head slightly. "Isn't that why you're here, Dan? Sayori told us that you wanted to join the club; I thought that's why you attended today's meeting." Monika and Natsuki each nodded their heads in agreement as Sayori twisted away from me, accidentally falling out of her chair in an attempt to escape my accusatory stare. _Gee, Sayori, kidnapping someone is an intriguing way to ask that person to join a club._

Yuri continued. "Are you already in another club?" she asked with a frown.

"Well, n—no, but …" I had difficulty forming a complete sentence. Sayori pulled herself back onto her chair, looking a little disheveled.

"Dan … We need more members before the school officially recognizes us as a club." She paused before continuing, her voice trembling slightly: "If we aren't officially recognized, the school may take away its permission for us to meet here. In essence, the club would be cancelled." She bit her lip and looked down.

Alternating waves of guilt and sympathy crashed over me. Monika cleared her throat. "I started this club a short time ago, Dan," she began somberly. "I was in the Debate Club but couldn't stand it anymore. Wanting to share my love for literature with others, I decided to start a club; Sayori heard of my efforts and immediately wanted to join. That desire, along with her enthusiasm and positive attitude, made her an obvious choice for vice president." Monika gave Sayori a warm smile before proceeding. "Like Sayori said, we need at least five members for the club to be officially recognized. Don't worry, though. If you aren't interested in being here, I won't hold it against you. I'm sure we can find someone else to join the club." She turned her smile to me, but it had changed from the one she just offered Sayori: it no longer reached her eyes. _That's strange … For someone so passionate about literature, she didn't try to save her club from potential cancellation just now. Maybe she just wants to make sure I don't feel pressured into joining._ However, I couldn't shake the feeling that Monika would prefer me to walk out the door and never look back.

By contrast, Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki appeared crestfallen, though they each tried to hide their reactions (with little success). _I'd hate to let them down, but I'm evidently disposable. Monika seemed clear about my potential worth to the club: "I'm sure we can find someone else," she said. If I'm not worth anything, I guess I'd better leave. I'm sure the other girls will get over me quickly enough._ My decision made, I stood up from my chair and began walking to the door, making sure to avoid looking anyone in the eye.

"D—Dan!" I felt a hand on my arm and turned around, surprised. Sayori looked up at me, her voice cracking and eyes shining with the beginnings of tears. "Please don't go." _Man, I hope she doesn't cry …_ I looked back to the table. Yuri gave me a sad smile, Natsuki kept her head down while tracing patterns on the table, and Monika stared pointedly at the ceiling.

"I think you girls could find someone much better than me for this club," I said, my voice echoing in the classroom. _It's true, after all_ , I thought. Sayori released my arm and stepped away from me in shock. I continued, however.

"But until that person shows up …" I trailed off. "I don't mind standing in that person's place." Monika let out a quiet gasp. Natsuki and Yuri gave me hopeful looks, but Sayori only gave me a sad smile that was incredibly full of significance: just like the one she gave me when she asked me to join a club in the first place. _I'm no reader or writer … But I'll do the best I can. I may not be the best person for the club, but I'll support the girls until their club becomes a reality—that is, if the president allows it._ Monika sat in silence, this time staring at the table. A look of dread flickered across her face before she composed her features into a neutral expression.

"Monika …" I spoke as she raised her head. "Yuri, Natsuki, Sayori …" The others turned to me as well. I swallowed before continuing. "May I be a part of your literature club?"


	4. Chapter 4: Whatever the future holds

Chapter 4—Whatever the Future Holds

Monika cleared her throat. Although it seemed like Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri wanted me to join the club, Monika was the president; it was ultimately her decision. Although my reluctance to write poetry might make it seem like I wouldn't be a good fit for the club, I was hoping that would be overlooked given Yuri's obvious (and Natsuki's somewhat obvious) hesitation to the matter as well. I only wanted to fill the spot of fifth club member to prevent the club's potential cancellation, but, if given the chance, I'd still contribute to the club in the best way I possibly could.

"Okay, everyone …" Monika began ominously. "I need to ask Daniel something first." She gave me a calculated look, assessing my every reaction. _And I thought Natsuki's glare was deadly._ I gulped.

"Sayori told you that this is a club when she introduced you to us; I'm sure you guessed that she wanted you to join us soon after. However, I can also tell that you aren't entirely happy with the idea of being in a literature club. We all saw you walk toward the door, but you stopped yourself and asked us if you could become a club member. My question is therefore this: Why do you want to join our club? What caused you to suddenly turn around and commit yourself to doing something you clearly aren't comfortable with?" Monika challenged, staring me directly in the eye.

The other girls looked astonished. _I'm surprised too … I didn't expect Monika to interrogate me over wanting to join her club. Maybe she doesn't usually act like this. Regardless, I'll tell her what she wants to know._ I took a deep breath.

"I—I've never really been part of anything before," I muttered. "I've never belonged anywhere … Moving from town to town over the past years, I haven't felt like much more than a piece of furniture in a moving box. Even before that, I've always had trouble making friends. I—I've basically lived my life as an outcast," I finished pathetically, turning to Sayori. "But Sayori has been so nice to me, even though we've only known each other for two days. A friend is something that a lonely person really appreciates, and I truly appreciate all that she's done for me. It's apparent that this club means a lot: not only to her, but also to the rest of you," I said while looking at each of them. "You all were kind to and accepting of me from the moment I came through that door; you even offered me tea and the most delicious cupcakes I've ever tasted!" I spoke, indicating Yuri and Natsuki. "I can only do so much for the club. However, even if you allow me to join only so that the school recognizes this as an official club, I will never stop working to earn my place here. I promised Sayori that I would join a club and I will keep that promise," I concluded, smiling fondly at Sayori. Sayori gave me a warm smile in return as she realized that I was, in fact, keeping my promise.

Monika's face, however, was unreadable. She walked closer, maintaining eye contact as my heart began pounding even harder than when I was speaking. She stopped only a foot away before responding.

"In that case, I guess I'll be looking forward to reading your first poem … Dan." She gave me a wistful smile. _This club is evidently meaningful to her. I wonder what she's thinking …_

However, Monika gave me no time to ponder as she turned on her heel, resuming her friendly tone as she began to gather her things. "Okay, everyone! Don't forget your assignment for tomorrow!"

Natsuki and Yuri seemed to suddenly remember that they were each expected to participate. "A—A …" began Yuri in a panicked whisper.

"A poem?!" finished Natsuki nervously. "B—But …"

"Yuri! Natsuki!" interrupted Sayori with a cheerful smile. "I'm sure your poems will be awesome! I can't wait to read them! Hm, what should I write about?" she concluded with her hand under her chin, deep in thought.

 _I guess that means we're back to normal._ "Thank you, everyone …" I spoke while staring at the floor. The girls all turned back to me, a little puzzled by my gratitude.

"Well, w—we're happy to have you here, D—Dan," Yuri responded.

"He'd have better stayed with the club! If he'd only came to eat my cupcakes, I'd be pissed!" grumbled Natsuki.

"You kept your promise, Dan!" Sayori smiled as she turned to me before continuing. "And now we'll see each other in the club after class! This will be so much fun!" _I'm glad I managed to make her happy_ , I thought, sharing her infectious smile. _Sayori is always so nice to everyone. It really was kind of her to invite me to the club._

The Literature Club … I looked at its four members as they each packed up and got ready to leave. _The other four members_ , I amended. _I can't forget that I'm a member now myself._ I caught Yuri's gaze, causing her to stumble and her cheeks to become flushed. Embarrassed, I turned to Natuski.

"What are you looking at?!" she demanded. I quickly turned elsewhere.

After the room was organized and cleaned, we walked out of the building together before saying our goodbyes. Sayori started to walk away with Yuri, causing me to wonder why I didn't see Yuri when Sayori left school yesterday.

"Bye, Dan! I'm looking forward reading to your poem tomorrow! Yours too, Yuri!" Sayori continued to chatter as she walked away. Yuri gave me one last look, fiddling with her hair before silently following in Sayori's footsteps. _Why is Yuri so timid? If she's as smart as she seems, I'm sure her poem will be wonderful._

Monika left in another direction, quickly vanishing over the horizon. For some reason, I had found myself hoping that she'd turn around one last time, but I was out of luck and left standing next to Natsuki.

"So … Where do you live?" asked Natsuki, looking flustered.

"Huh?" I responded, surprised that she would bother to ask.

Natsuki gave me an irritated glare. "WHERE DO YOU LIVE, DUMMY?!" she shouted.

"Oh! I, uh, walk that way …" I pointed in the direction of my house, distracted by the ringing in my ears. _How can someone that small yell that loudly?_

"Well, let's get going then!" Natsuki commanded.

"T—To my house?" I asked, confused again.

"Idiot!" she shouted before rolling her eyes. "I also walk in that direction! Why would I go to your house? I don't even know you!" she finished, crossing her arms in frustration.

I repressed a sigh. "Why do you feel the need to yell at me, Natsuki?" I asked as respectfully as I could. _Listening to her yell all the time is exhausting._

"Well … Because …" Natsuki seemed unable to find an answer. "Y—You wanna go or not?" She turned away, her voice dropping to almost a whisper. _She's avoiding the question, but I won't push her._ I smiled at her. "It's getting late; we should get going." Although I didn't know her very well, I had a feeling that she only acted hostile to avoid dealing with other people. _She pushes others away, but I can tell she isn't a bad person._

We started walking, but Natsuki kept silent. However, I turned to her as we passed the spot where I witnessed her being harassed yesterday. "Hey … Is that guy still bothering you?"

"What?" She looked up. "Oh, him … No, I didn't see him today," she responded in her normal tone of voice.

"That's not what I asked, Natsuki. I want to know if he's bothering you." I stopped myself before launching into a lecture on how to deal with bullies. _That would be hilarious; I'm sure the guy who's been bullied his whole life gives some great tips on how to stop people from tormenting others._

"He's just a guy from class. That's how we poke fun at each other…" Natsuki spoke dismissively.

"You seemed quite upset at the time. You kicked that rock with a lot of strength, remember?"

"Ah!" Natsuki seemed about to start shouting at me again but stopped herself at the last moment. She let out a long breath before continuing. "Listen … Just don't tell anyone that I fell down, alright? Too many people saw that happen." She sounded more embarrassed than angry. _I'm just glad she didn't threaten me about it._

"I won't tell them, I promise," I reassured her. "But you need to stop any teasing that makes you upset, okay?" I continued. _Looks like I couldn't stop myself from giving advice after all._

"And you always keep your promises?" Natsuki challenged.

I blushed before answering. "Y—Yeah! I do!" _I did keep my promise to Sayori today, didn't I?_

"Ehehe!" Natsuki giggled before playfully pushing me into the street. Caught off guard, I barely avoided introducing my face to the asphalt; still giggling, Natsuki failed to notice my almost-tumble. _I don't think she knows how strong she is … Wait, Natsuki is GIGGLING?_ I quickly recovered and ran to catch up, shocked at how different her demeanor was from when Sayori first introduced us.

After her laughter had died down, Natsuki spoke. "Alright, Mr. Dan, you better keep your word, or else!" she said playfully, seemingly amused by my blush from earlier. I was about to continue past an intersection when she stopped me.

"My house is down that way, so I'll continue on my own. Bye, Mr. Dan!" she teased as she walked away. _She's almost acting like Sayori at this point._

"Be careful!" I called after her. She just waved back at me before continuing on her way.

 _Man, Natsuki is really something._ I sighed. _She may be too much to handle for someone as insecure as me, but she means well. That's really the only thing that matters._

I hollered after her one last time. "And thanks for the cupcake, Ms. Natsuki!" I shouted, trying to get back at her.

She turned around for a moment, displaying a guilty grin before waving again and disappearing from view around a corner. _Heh, looks like I got my revenge on her for teasing me._

The remainder of my walk passed uneventfully. I entered my house, noticing that my mom didn't seem to be home. Lying down on the couch, I pulled out my phone and saw that she sent me a text:

 _I'm back at our old house! All the memories made me teary-eyed. I hope you had a great day at school! I'll be back in a couple days. I can't believe it, but you forgot something here! I'll give it to you when I'm back. I love you!_

I frowned, puzzled. _What could I have forgotten there? And why didn't she just tell me exactly what it was in her text?_ I rolled my eyes. _Mom: I really don't understand her sometimes._ I also had no idea what "memories" she was referring to, as I didn't leave any friends behind; we only lived there for a year before moving here, anyway. I appreciate all the work that my mom has done for me (especially as a single mother), but constantly moving from town to town has made it difficult for me to feel like I belong anywhere.

I shook my head, trying to discard the thought. _Thinking about the past will get me nowhere. Let me check my schedule for tomorrow_ , I thought while digging through my bag. Pulling it out, I took a closer look. _Good, no homework, but I'll need to start going to club meetings now … Damn, I need to write a poem!_ I threw my head back into the couch cushions with an exasperated sigh. _There goes my evening of video games and relaxation._ I didn't want to admit it, but I was feeling pretty apprehensive about writing a poem. I'd never tried writing poetry, and I didn't want my first attempt to be an absolute disaster.

 _Ugh, I can clearly imagine Monika's reaction: "Wow, Dan! I didn't expect much, but I definitely didn't expect your poem to be this bad! Ahaha_ _!"_ I knew we had only just met, but she was someone that I really didn't want to disappoint. I walked to my bedroom and approached my window. I half-expected to see Monika standing outside, even though the empty lot where I saw her last night was a few blocks away. _Ha … Stop acting so weird. What would you do, anyway? Walk outside and offer a cheerful greeting? "Hey, Monika! Couldn't help but notice you standing outside my house on this fine evening!" Yeah, right._ I turned around and sat on my bed, thinking.

I couldn't help but feel that Monika didn't like me all that much in the first place. _Natsuki, on the other hand …_ I chuckled as I thought of our walk from school. I was pleasantly surprised at how much her attitude had changed from the club meeting. I knew that I shouldn't take her abrasiveness personally, but it was nice to see a sweeter side of her nonetheless. _As long as I remember not to call her cute._

I smiled to myself as I pulled some paper and an unfamiliar pen out of my bag. _Yuri's pen! I hope she didn't miss it too much._ I got the impression that Yuri uses her pens much more than I use mine; she seemed to possess an aura of quiet intelligence that would imply such things. _I bet she actually writes for fun and not just for school like I do._ I chuckled again, comparing Yuri and Natsuki. _They're practically opposites: how interesting that they ended up in the same club of only five people._ I found Yuri's constant stuttering to be slightly unsettling (it made me feel like I was upsetting her), but I couldn't blame her; I also tend to feel nervous when I'm around people. _Hopefully Yuri will begin to feel more comfortable around me as I start spending more time with the club._

Moving to my desk, I focused on trying to start my poem. _I have no idea what to write about … Maybe Yuri's pen will give me some inspiration._ Doodling idly, I was surprised at how smoothly the pen wrote. _It helps me feel somewhat like a poet, I guess. I hope Yuri won't mind that I'm writing with it._ Ignoring my anxiety, I pushed the thoughts of her and the rest of the club out of my head and began to write.

Sitting back, I took a deep breath and studied my work. After a couple hours' work and a few abandoned attempts, I was finished. _I'm not thrilled, but I think it's good for a first attempt. Hopefully the girls will agree._ As I got ready for bed, my thoughts drifted to Sayori. I really was flattered that she went out of her way to persuade me (well, she actually kidnapped me) to join the club. However, I got chills when I thought of how upset she got when she thought I was going to walk out of the clubroom. It's sobering to think that Sayori, someone who's constantly so cheerful, still experiences sadness from time to time. I'd never want to make her cry; she's been such a good friend to me that I owe her all I can to do my best for the club. _I'll do my best for all of them: Sayori, Monika, Yuri, and Natsuki. Maybe, with time, the Literature Club is someplace I could finally belong._


	5. Chapter 5: Okay, Everyone!

Chapter 5—"Okay, Everyone!"

Half-conscious and in a daze, I opened my eyes to the sunlight streaming through my window. For the briefest of moments, my tired brain struggled to recall even the most basic details about my life before the pieces fell quickly into place. I'd had some nightmares over the past week that made it difficult to sleep; I'd wake up sweating in the middle of the night, only recalling vague feelings of dread, panic, and terror from my dreams. Such nightmares had never plagued me before, so I figured they were just a manifestation of the anxiety I felt at moving to a new town and enrolling in a new school. I was hoping that the nightmares would soon abate after a couple days of class, but it seemed that I would have to wait a bit longer before being able to get a good night's rest.

I sighed as my thoughts turned to school. I can accept that I'm fairly introverted, but my inability to make friends at all sometimes upsets me. I was just lucky to meet Sayori; if I hadn't met her, I wouldn't have any friends at school. I occasionally try to force myself to act more outgoing and try new activities, but I always fall back into the patterns of isolation I seem programmed to carry out. While some of my difficulties are probably due to having moved from town to town so often, others clearly stem from my own inadequacies. I suppose not everyone can be as friendly and cheerful as Sayori.

I got ready for school before going downstairs and eating breakfast. My mom is supposed to return from her business trip tonight; while I'm a little curious to see what I forgot to bring with the move, I doubt it was anything important. It's frustrating to relocate so often, but I don't resent my mom for it. As a single mother, she works hard to provide for me, and that's really all I can ask for.

I got to school and settled into my first class with a few minutes to spare before the bell. Seeing no sign of Sayori, I assumed she was running late (seems to be a habit of hers). Bored, I began gazing out the window and was surprised to see a familiar face. On the terrace of the school building across the grounds stood Monika, long hair blowing gently in the wind as she stood near the perimeter. Elbows resting on the ledge, she faced perpendicular to me as she stared at the horizon. Squinting, I saw past the fluttering of her bow to an expression of the deepest longing. _This is eerily similar to when I saw her in front of that empty lot … Isn't she supposed to be in class? Why would she risk truancy just to stand on the terrace?_ Almost as if she sensed my gaze, she quickly turned in my direction. I quickly ducked and waited a full minute before taking another look, but Monika was gone.

The bell rang, interrupting my thoughts as I was treated to the beginning of another algebra lesson. Without Sayori to occupy my attention, I tried to focus on the lecture but was distracted by thoughts of the literature club. Even though I had been officially accepted as a member, I felt like Monika still wasn't entirely keen on having me in the club. I hoped she hadn't seen me looking at her from across the grounds a moment ago; I could probably explain it as simply staring out the window, but that would be an awkward situation I'd like to avoid. However, I was even more concerned about my poem. I thought it was a good first attempt, but I didn't know if it would meet Monika's standards. It definitely wouldn't meet Yuri's.

About five minutes after class started, I heard the door open. I looked, expecting to see Sayori arriving late, but was instead greeted by the sight of Yuri with a note for my teacher. As the teacher began to write a note in response, Yuri stood around awkwardly, glancing around the room as some of the other students took the opportunity to have their own conversations. Yuri's eyes landed on me before widening in shock. Observing that she recognized me and remembering my thoughts from this morning, I quickly tried thinking of a way to be sociable. Imagining what Sayori would do in my place, I waved and gave Yuri a friendly smile. _Well, Sayori would probably jump up and run to give Yuri a hug, but that would be overdoing it._

Yuri gave me a faint smile in return and stared at the floor, fidgeting with her hair as her cheeks turned a deep shade of red. Accepting the finished note from the teacher, she dashed out the door as quickly as possible. As the lecture resumed, I overheard whispers of "new kid" and "that girl." _Oh no, did I make her flustered? I hope she isn't upset …_

Sayori arrived a few minutes later. No one said anything when she walked in, so I assumed it wasn't out of the ordinary for her to arrive late (though I was surprised she didn't seem to be in trouble). I raised an eyebrow, but she just gave me a bright smile before motioning to the board. Shaking my head to myself, followed along with the lecture and began to take notes.

The rest of the day passed without incident. I was a little apprehensive about enrolling in the middle of the semester, but most of the day's lecture material was easy to understand. As usual, though, it was a struggle to stay focused. I often have trouble finding motivation; having changed schools so often, I've learned that it's better not to care or get too involved in the things around me when they can be left behind all too easily.

However, as the final class of the day drew to a close, I found myself nevertheless looking forward to seeing the literature club. As I walked in the clubroom, a shape detached from the wall and flew at me.

"Dan!" exclaimed Sayori as she tackled me with a hug. "We were worried that we'd have to start without you!"

I looked at her, surprised. "You were waiting for me?"

"Of course, silly!" Sayori stuck her tongue out at me as a warmth filled my chest _. It may seem like nothing to them, but taking the time to wait before starting means a lot to someone me._

"How could we have started the meeting without our newest member? That'd just be rude!" called Monika with a smile from across the room.

Natsuki snickered from her desk. "Hmph. You're giving him too much credit. I bet he didn't even write a poem."

"Is she right, Dan?" Monika walked toward me with an expression of equal parts concern and disappointment.

 _Damn it, Natsuki_ , I grumbled to myself before turning to Monika. "No, it's right here!" I pulled my poem out of my bag. _Here goes nothing._

"Okay, everyone! Grab a partner to share your poem with!" Monika declared. "The odd one out gets a little break until we switch partners!"

Sayori skipped to her desk before returning to me with her poem. "Ready, Dan?" she asked. "This is my first poem so I don't know if it's any good. Ehehe," she giggled nervously. _Right_ , I thought, relaxing. _Everyone else is probably nervous too._

Looking around, I saw Yuri sheepishly hand her poem to Monika while Natsuki dumped the contents of her backpack on the floor. I took a deep breath and took Sayori's poem, offering her mine in return.

Titled "Dear Sunshine," her poem was just about what I expected. I chuckled as I read the last line: " _I want breakfast._ "

"What are you laughing at?" Sayori asked as she looked up from my poem, embarrassed.

I smiled at her. "This is just a wild guess, but … Did you write your poem this morning?" I teased. _That was a good poem; it sounded just like her._

"Uh … Well …" Sayori trailed off, looking away and playing with the tips of her fingers. "I may have been a little hungry when I wrote it. Ehehe∼!" She looked up at me with a guilty smile.

I raised an eyebrow. "And?" I asked playfully.

"Huh?" She gave me a quizzical look.

I grinned at her mischievously. "Did you get your breakfast?"

"Meanie!" she retorted, sticking her tongue out. "I did …" She looked away, suddenly lost in thought.

"Joking aside, Sayori, I did like your poem. I mean it!" _I hope she isn't offended; I was just playing around._

Sayori seemed to snap out of her trance. "I had eggs and toast!" she chirped. "But I don't want to talk about breakfast! Let me finish your poem!" Sayori fell silent as she continued reading.

Without Sayori's poem to distract me, I started to feel anxious. _Man, I hope she can read my handwriting._ Looking up, my eyes passed over Monika and Natsuki (now sharing poems with each other) to find Yuri watching me. Just as before, she blushed and quickly found somewhere else to look.

As my attention returned to Sayori, I caught the moment her concentrated look shifted back to her trademark smile. _She's such a bundle of sunshine and positive energy. It cheers me up just to look at her._

"I really liked it, Dan!" Sayori beamed. "I was happy before I read it but couldn't help feeling a little sad afterward." She let out an awkward giggle.

I froze in embarrassment and horror. _Did my poem just ruin Sayori's day? I can't believe I made her upset!_

Sayori gave me a worried look, noting the change in my expression. "Dan? Are you okay?" she asked, tilting her head.

"I'm sorry, Sayori … I—I didn't want you to feel bad …" I stared at the floor.

"Huh?" Sayori appeared dumbfounded. "It's fantastic that you can convey your emotions through a poem like this! Your writing is very authentic," she spoke before continuing enthusiastically. "Yesterday, you said that you would do your best to earn your spot in the club; with this poem, you're doing just that!"

I was puzzled. "But … You said you were feeling happy before you read the poem. I didn't want to make you feel bad."

"But, Dan …" she broke off, trying to think of the right words. "If we didn't have rainclouds …" Her blue eyes suddenly lit up. "How could we enjoy the rainbows?" she finished brightly.

I blinked, stunned. _How'd Sayori come up with something so poetic like that? She never fails to surprise me … I knew she was capable, but I wasn't expecting to have such wisdom dropped on me while we discussed my mediocre attempt at poetry._

"Ehehe∼!" Sayori giggled at my expression. "Show your poem to the rest of the club! It's really good!" Sayori beamed as she pushed me toward Yuri, who was waiting quietly at a desk.

I slowed down as I approached Yuri. "Ummm … Hey, Yuri!" I called, scratching my head. _Being pushed around by Sayori is somewhat embarrassing, but I guess I've been through worse._ Surprised by my sudden arrival, Yuri clutched her poem in front of her like a makeshift shield.

"Ah! H—Hi, D—Dan," she said sheepishly, avoiding eye contact. _This is gonna be awkward …_

"Would you like to share poems?" I ventured cautiously.

"O—Of course … That would be fun, r—right?" Yuri trembled as she spoke. _Poor girl; she's shaking like a leaf. This might be the worst I've ever seen her._ Since she still held her poem in a death grip, I decided to make the first move.

"Would you like to read my poem? This is my first attempt at poetry, so I apologize in advance. I know you're much more familiar with literature than I am, so go easy on me, ok?" I smiled at Yuri apologetically. Much to my relief, Yuri's features relaxed as she gave a quiet chuckle.

"Today is also the first time I've shared my poetry, you know," she said with a soft smile. We exchanged poems and began to read.

As I scanned the neat handwriting, I looked up to see Yuri reading my own poem with a peaceful expression on her face. _She's clearly much more comfortable around literature than she is around people_ , I thought before turning my attention back to the poem in front of me. Yuri read through my poem quickly before setting it down, preparing her feedback. I braced myself, expecting the worst.

"So … What do think, Yuri?" I asked nervously.

"Well …" She gave my poem a final look and took a deep breath before speaking. "New writers fall into certain habits when they write: habits that are easy to pick up on with a little reading experience. You've displayed some such habits here, but it's nothing to worry about; it's all part of learning and finding your own writing style." She smiled at me reassuringly.

 _Woah, was that Yuri? She sounded so confident and didn't stutter once while speaking. Who knew that she could undergo such a transformation? I also appreciate her attempt to be encouraging; she could've easily ripped me apart for writing like an amateur._

"So … My poem sucked?" I asked with a weak smile. I hoped a little self-deprecatory humor would demonstrate that I didn't mind criticism.

Yuri laughed softly. "N—Not at all! If I hadn't already known, I wouldn't have been able to tell that this was your very first time writing poetry." She paused before continuing. "If you wish to improve, it's only a matter of practice before you develop a more mature writing style. Regardless …" She looked away, her voice suddenly timid again. "I liked y—your poem very m—much …" she spoke, shyly handing back my poem.

"Thank you." I smiled before continuing. "It's only fair that you let me finish your poem now, right?" I asked lightly.

"Oh! O—Of course!" She fidgeted nervously.

Just as Sayori's poem embodied her own carefree and innocent personality, Yuri's poem, "Ghost Under the Light," reflected Yuri's own quiet intelligence. Although I knew the poem had some deeper meaning, I could only pick up on the eerie impression it left me with. After I finished reading, I turned my attention to Yuri and the upset expression she wore.

"My handwriting is terrible …" sighed Yuri.

I was bewildered. "What? No! Why would you say that?" _This is probably the neatest and most elegant handwriting I've ever seen!_

"It took you so long to read my poem …" Yuri looked ashamed.

"Yuri, I'm not much of a reader," I admitted with an embarrassed smile. "I took my time while reading it because I wanted to make sure that I understood as much as possible."

Yuri looked skeptical, so I continued. "I have one question, though: What's with the light?"

"W—Wait, seriously?" she spoke, incredulity overcoming her diffidence.

I nodded. "Yeah! What does it mean?"

Yuri began mumbling to herself. _Is she … practicing what she wants to say?_

Yuri paused, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes for a moment. "Well, it's not a light in a literal sense, Dan. It's a metaphor," she explained, opening her eyes.

"Well, yeah! I knew that!" I said defensively. "I want to know what the light means to you."

"Oh!" she smiled. "Well, I can't tell you that; I wouldn't want to ruin your interpretation of its significance."

I smiled back at her. _I have no idea why it's significant, actually. But at least my question seemed to help you "lighten" up a little—pun intended._

"Oh, I almost forgot!" I said, reaching into my bag for Yuri's pen. "Would you have happened to lose a pen recently?" I inquired, pulling the pen from my bag and revealing it with a dramatic flourish (much like the climax of a magician's card trick). Yuri looked shocked and embarrassed, recoiling slightly when I offered her pen. All of her earlier confidence from discussing our poems was gone. "H—How do y—you know this is mine?" she stammered.

"Uh … Well, I …" I spoke uncertainly, trying to avoid sounding like a creep. _How do I always end up in these situations?_ "Yesterday, before first period, I saw you reading while sitting on the ground, and, uh … When you stood up to go to class, it looked like something fell from your bag, and, uh … It was this pen! I tried to return it, but I lost you in the crowd …" Noting Yuri's pained expression, I decided to apologize. "I wanted to return it at yesterday's club meeting, but I was distracted by … tea and cupcakes!" I started sweating. "I'm sorry I kept it for so long, Yuri. I hope you didn't miss it too much." I looked at the floor guiltily.

Pulling herself together, Yuri stretched her hand out to recover her pen. _Maybe I can help her relax with a joke._ I continued speaking as she took the pen from my hand. "If my poem was any good, it was only because I used your pen to write it; I thought using your pen would bring me good luck, or something …" I forced myself to give weak chuckle. However, I froze when I saw Yuri's reaction. _Oh, no. Oh-no-oh-no-oh-no-oh-no._

"Y—You … used it?" Yuri stuttered, her voice barely above a whisper as her eyes darted around the room and her face turned bone-white. _She's mad at me! What was I thinking?!_ I continued apologizing desperately.

"I—I'm really sorry, Yuri! I—I don't know why I thought it was okay to use your pen! Please forgive me!" I pleaded.

"D—Don't worry … P—Please excuse me …" she muttered, trying to smile (but succeeding only in a grimace) as she stood up and dashed out the door.


	6. Chapter 6: Are You Lonely?

Chapter 6—"Are You Lonely?"

I watched Yuri run out the door, dumfounded. She seemed upset that I used her pen, although I couldn't fathom why. I desperately racked my brain for a possible explanation, but my panicked thoughts were interrupted by a noise from behind me.

I looked over my shoulder as Natsuki finished clearing her throat. "Scared of showing me your poem, Dan?" she spoke derisively. "I don't have all day!"

"Sorry." I turned to her, distracted. _I guess Natsuki didn't see what happened … Should I go after Yuri? Would that just make things worse? I don't know what to do …_

Natsuki walked closer and repeatedly snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Hey! Dummy! We're supposed to share, remember?" She waved her poem in the air.

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. _It's best I leave Yuri alone; I'd probably only make things worse if I tried to follow._ I focused my attention on the pink-haired girl in front of me. "Alright, Natsuki; relax a little, geez …" She appeared to ignore my request, however, indignantly ripping my poem from my grip and dropping hers on a desk close by.

Before picking up Natsuki's poem, I took a moment to glance around the room. In a corner adjacent to the windows that lined one of the classroom's walls, Sayori sat on the floor with her knees pulled to her chest and back against the wall perpendicular to the building's exterior. She seemed to gaze at the red and orange hues of the setting sun as her face rested in the sun's shadow, her expression unreadable. Continuing on, I spotted Monika directly across from Sayori: also against the wall, but standing on her right leg (left foot pushed against the plaster). Her arms were folded as she too stared at the sunset. Seeming to sense my scrutiny, she turned her head toward me and dropped one eyelid in a lazy wink.

Embarrassed, my heart skipped a beat as I quickly picked up Natsuki's poem ("Eagles Can Fly") and began to read. It was simply structured but effectively expressed feelings of powerlessness and frustration. _Natsuki's writing style is blunt and impossible to ignore, just like her._ I smiled, impressed. _This poem is quite powerful: ironic, considering its theme._ I looked up to see Natsuki glaring at me, hands on her hips. Deciding to tease her, I waited until she broke the silence.

"So?" asked Natsuki expectantly.

I feigned confusion, hiding a smile. "Huh?"

"The poem, idiot! What did you think?" She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Oh! I liked it, I suppose."

Natsuki bristled. "You liked it? That's it? Poems don't have to be long and fancy, you know!"

Now grinning openly, I decided to spare her from any further torment. "I'm kidding. You're a talented writer!" I reassured her. "The poem's rhythm—"

"Yeah!" Natsuki cut me off, her pink eyes sparkling. "It sets up expectations at first, and then … Bam! The last line hits you!" she finished enthusiastically.

"Yes, Natsuki, you write as well as you bake—and you bake very well!" I hastily added as she glared at me suspiciously.

"Bet you didn't expect that from me!" Natsuki puffed out her chest, proudly surveying the room like a general would a conquered battlefield. "See? Poems don't have to use complicated words!"

"Indeed," I acknowledged, resisting the urge to snigger at her ridiculous posture. "But that's enough about you, Ms. Natsuki. What did you think of my poem?"

"Eh?" Natsuki deflated a bit as she returned her attention to me. "It wasn't bad for a beginner, I guess."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Since you're such an expert, why don't you give me a few pointers sometime?"

"Well, Mr. Dan …" Natsuki looked at me appraisingly. "I don't usually take on apprentices, but I suppose I can help you out." She smirked.

I rolled my eyes in response. "I leave myself in your capable hands, O master of poetry." Natsuki stuck her tongue out at me as we shook hands, sealing the deal.

Before I was able to retaliate, Yuri entered the classroom and approached me, looking sheepish but much calmer than before. "H—Hey, Dan, I'm really sorry about earlier …" she spoke, keeping her eyes downcast.

"Hey there, Yuri. Is everything ok?" I rubbed the back of my neck, uncomfortable.

Yuri shifted her weight. "Y—Yeah, don't worry about it …" she replied while scratching her arm. "T—Thank you for returning my p—pen," she stammered, looking up at me.

"Of course." I looked off to the side. "Were you angry that I used it?"

Yuri looked taken aback. "N—no, of course not. It's just that—"

"Ugh, enough!" interjected Natsuki, who had been observing the conversation with an incredulous look on her face. "You guys are so awkward that it's making _me_ feel uncomfortable!" Yuri and I just looked away, avoiding each other's gaze. "Whatever. We don't have time for this." Natsuki grabbed Yuri's hand and started pulling her across the room. "Come on, Yuri. Let's share poems." Distressed, Yuri could only stare at me helplessly as she was dragged away.

Chuckling, I sat down at my desk. However, I didn't have long to rest before I heard someone approaching me from behind.

"Hello, Dan," came Monika's melodious voice as I suddenly became aware of my heart thumping in my chest. "Are you ready to share poems?"

I gulped before turning around to face her. "Gee, Monika, don't creep up me like that," I muttered, my thoughts suddenly thick and foggy as I desperately struggled to say anything remotely intelligent.

Monika's eyes twinkled, though her face remained impassive. "You're certainly one to talk. I didn't fail to notice you staring at me earlier."

 _Ack!_ I gulped again. She seemed to be referring only to earlier in today's meeting, but I couldn't help but wonder if she knew about the other times I'd been observing her: near the empty neighborhood lot and from my classroom opposite the rooftop terrace. Although there was no way she could've seen me in either of those instances, something in Monika's emerald eyes suggested that she knew more than should've been possible.

"Uh, Dan?" spoke a familiar voice. I blinked twice, the world snapping back into focus as I beheld Monika's concerned expression. "I'm just teasing you. There's nothing to be upset over."

My mind spun as words deserted me. "I, uh, yeah …" I mumbled.

Monika's worried frown grew deeper, but she dropped the subject. "Are you ready to share poems?" Taking a deep breath, I nodded as she handed me her paper.

Titled "Hole in Wall," Monika's poem completely eluded my understanding. It didn't even really seem like a poem: more a confused jumble of seemingly unrelated narration, description, and exposition.

Although I was sure it made sense to Monika, I couldn't even begin to guess what it was about. I set the poem down, puzzled.

Monika clasped her hands together. "Well, what did you think?"

I scratched my head. "It's very … freeform. That's what it's called, right? I'm sorry; I don't know much about poetry." I grimaced. _There goes my opportunity to impress Monika with a contemplative analysis._

Although Monika gave me a smile, she appeared somewhat disappointed. "It isn't a matter of what you 'know,' Dan; you don't need to 'know' anything. Instead, ask yourself these questions while reading a poem: How does it make you feel? Why does it make you feel that way? Why might the author have written it? These questions won't just help you better understand what you're reading; they may even help you better understand yourself." Monika brushed away a few stray strands of hair before continuing. "Believe it or not, I don't have much experience writing poetry, so I'd really appreciate any feedback you could give me!" She let out a small laugh.

"Ummm …" I began, glancing through the poem again. "I feel like there's much more to what you wrote than just what's on the page."

"When is that not the case, Dan?" Monika rolled her eyes as if I had just said something extremely obvious (which I had).

"Y—Yeah, but … It's almost like you wrote this poem exclusively for yourself: like it'll only ever really make sense to you," I responded defensively.

She raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh? Do continue."

Before I got the chance to speak, I happened to notice how the fading sunlight poured through the classroom windows and draped itself around Monika, bestowing an almost angelic glow upon her body. _Argh, focus!_ I looked away, gathering my thoughts. "W—Well, the act of looking through the hole in the wall could be a metaphor for viewing something that one isn't meant to see: either because it would be more beneficial for one not to see it or because it shouldn't even be possible for one to see it in the first place." I paused. "I'm not sure what this part at the end means, though. It's revealed that the speaker isn't actually looking down into the hole, but is in fact looking … out?"

I turned back to Monika, who was watching me calmly. "It seems I may have underestimated you, Dan. May I read your poem now?"

"Of course." I handed her what I had written. Monika's eyes immediately widened in surprise, then quickly narrowed as she read through the rest of my poem. When she looked up, though, she gave no indication that anything was amiss.

Monika set down my poem. "Looks like you surprised me again! I didn't expect something with so much depth."

I laughed awkwardly in response. "'Roses are red / Violets are blue' would've been too easy." Suddenly reflective, I gazed around the clubroom before continuing. "I may not excel at poetry, but I promised Sayori that I would try my best. I want to earn my spot here in the club."

"I truly appreciate the effort," said Monika with a smile that made my stomach do somersaults. After scanning my poem again, she met my gaze with an expression I couldn't quite place. "Are you lonely, Dan?" she asked suddenly, searching my face.

I panicked. "What?! Where did that come from?!"

"Ahaha!" laughed Monika. "There's no need to feel uncomfortable. Your poem just seemed to convey feelings of isolation. We all feel lonely sometimes, right?"

"Um, I g—guess …" I stared at the floor, unsure how to respond.

"I could be wrong!" Monika continued enthusiastically. "Maybe there's something I'm missing, Dan: something that'll 'only ever really make sense to you.'" Her eyes twinkled again. "Regardless of whether this particular poem actually reflects your emotions, poetry can be a fantastic way to express oneself; and that just happens to lead me to my writing tip of the day! Using one's own life experiences can—"

"Is that what you do?" I interrupted without thinking.

"Huh?" Bemused, Monika paused with one hand on her hip and the other pointing to the side.

"Well …" I swallowed, regretting my decision to open my mouth even as some unknown force within me compelled me to go on. "Earlier, I guessed that you're probably the only one who'll ever fully understand the poem you wrote. You didn't exactly deny what I said, so … I get the impression that you wrote your poem to express yourself; it felt like something very personal to you. Right?"

"In a sense …" For a moment, Monika gave me a piercing stare, as if she were trying to discern my thoughts. Looking away, she then hesitated before proceeding: "You could say I had an epiphany of sorts."

"An epiphany?"

"Yes." Her eyes swiveled back to me, studying my face. "However, I'm not quite comfortable talking about it now. Perhaps we can discuss it some other time." Monika broke into her usual smile. "Good work, Dan! I'm looking forward to seeing anything you may write in the future!"

"Thanks, Monika. I'm also— Hey!" I was once again blinded as Sayori snuck up behind me and obscured my eyesight. "Again, Sayori?!"

"Ehehe∼!"

"Let me go!" I struggled to escape her grip.

"Not until you tell me about your first day as an official club member!" I could practically hear the grin in her voice.

I stopped struggling as I contemplated today's meeting. Although I had initially rejected the idea of joining the club, I enjoyed better getting to know its members and (surprisingly) the challenge of writing poetry. "Thank you, 'yori …"

"Eh?" Surprised, Sayori let her hands drop and peered around my shoulder.

"I wouldn't have been here today if it weren't for you." I turned to face Sayori and smiled. "I actually had a lot of fun!"

"Aw∼!" Sayori blushed before calling to the rest of the room. "Guys, Dan had fun!"

Yuri and Natsuki walked over, joining Monika, Sayori, and I in the center of the room.

"I guess today wasn't too bad," admitted Natsuki.

"It was nice to see everyone's writing," Yuri added.

"Ok, everyone!" Monika clapped her hands to gain our attention. "Since today went so well, how about we make the same plan for tomorrow?"

"Yeah!" exclaimed Sayori. "I can't wait to write an even better poem for next meeting!" Feeling somewhat less enthusiastic, Natsuki, Yuri, and I simply nodded.

As we all exited onto the school grounds, Natsuki immediately took off in a mad dash toward her house, leaving no one to accompany me on my trek back home. Sayori left only after reminding me that I would see the "greatest poem ever" at tomorrow's meeting, and Monika and Yuri stopped to discuss a novel together before heading their separate ways. Unfamiliar with what they were chatting about, I stopped to listen for only a few minutes before taking my leave.

I covered only a short distance before my foot caught on something, causing me to stumble; embarrassed, I turned around to check whether Yuri or Monika had seen. While Yuri continued to speak to Monika as though she hadn't noticed anything, I blushed upon discovering that Monika had been staring at me as I walked away. I waved to Monika in a poor attempt to disguise my clumsiness, and, after a short pause, she waved back. Inwardly wincing, I resumed my journey home.

I began to think about Monika as I traveled. _Man, what is it with her? I always seem to freeze up and lose control of my body when she's looking at me. I never have that problem with Natsuki or the other girls … Maybe I was acting strange because she winked at me? But what the hell did that wink even mean, anyway?!_

Lost in thought for several minutes, I stopped walking to find myself somewhere unexpected; I had somehow arrived in front of the empty lot at which I had seen Monika reaching out a few nights ago. Puzzled, I peered into the growing dusk around me. _That's strange … I could've sworn I made the right turn a few blocks ago._ I sighed and rolled my eyes to the sky. _I can't believe I let Monika distract me to the extent that I can't even find my way home._

"Are you lost?" whispered an unfamiliar voice. I quickly spun around to look for the speaker, but the growing darkness obscured my vision. "What are you searching for?" spoke the voice again, its words echoing through my head. My eyes narrowed. The voice sounded like that of a male, but I had no idea where the voice was had come from—or who it belonged to.

Another voice joined the first, speaking in unison: "Are you lonely?" With a jolt, I recognized the newer voice, having heard its mellifluous tones earlier in the day. "Monika …" Her name escaped my lips as I recalled what she had asked me just after reading my poem.

I stood alone in the twilight for several minutes, but neither of the voices returned. As I headed home, hands in my pockets, I again fell deep into thought. _Of all places, why did I end up in front of the empty lot? Why the hell was I hearing voices? Am I that stressed? … What's Monika's role in all this? Why do I feel so uneasy around her? I worry about her opinion of me, I look for her in between classes, and now I'm even hearing her voice … Why can't I get Monika out of my head?!_

Before long, I found myself standing in front of my house. I walked up to my door, chuckling as the pieces finally fell into place. "Man, this will not end well for me …" I spoke aloud, fumbling with the keys before pushing the door open and stepping inside. "I think I have a crush on Monika."


	7. Chapter 7: A Troubling Dream

Chapter 7:

I entered the house in silence as usual, still trying to come to terms with my newfound feelings, when I noticed that for once since we moved here the lights of the living room were on before I turned them on myself.

"Hi, dear!" I heard my mother's voice coming from inside the kitchen. _I haven't heard her voice in quite a while, it's a pleasant surprise._

I walked to the kitchen and peeked inside. "Mom?"

"How was your day?" She asked as she finished serving dinner before turning to me.

"Uh… you know, well enough." I said, evading the question. "I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow." I asked while I helped to get the plates on to the table.

"I was done quicker than what I anticipated so I thought I could come back home and surprise you with some homemade dinner! I'm sure you've been eating nothing but instant noodles since I left, right?" She chuckled. _Guilty as charged._

"You know I suck at cooking, Mom, I'd rather not set the house on fire when we have only just moved in." I snickered back as we started to eat.

"You will have to learn eventually, Daniel, who knows? Maybe one day you could be the one treating me to dinner for a change!"

"I can treat you to some instant noodles next time, though!" I tried to feign a smile but I can't help but feeling like a failure after not being able to take care of myself in a more responsible way.

"Anyway, how's the new school? I trust you've had time to catch up with everyone else, right?" She asked.

"Yeah, no problems there…" _I couldn't care less for my classes, honestly._

My Mom checked her wristwatch, "Why are you arriving so late? I thought you only had classes until 4pm."

"Umm… the thing is…" I swallowed, "I'm part of a… club now".

"Oh really? Which one? You said before that you didn't care to join one." She asked confused.

"One question at a time!" I demanded, feeling a bit flustered. "I—it's a literature club…" Even as I looked away I could tell her expression being one of disbelief, "A—a friend of mine invited me and I figured I'd just do it, alright?"

Her confusion changed to a proud smile as she stated what she cared for the most amongst all I just said, " _'A friend'?_ And what's their name?" She asked.

"Sayori…" While I spoke her name I was happy to be reminded of that sweet bundle of sunshine. _'yori… she said we'd be best friends after just meeting me and if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have ever gone into the club, I thank her for that._

"Sayori? Oooh! A girl!" My Mom said back with glee.

I could feel myself blushing, "Yes mom… a girl."

"Those are really nice news! And tell me, how's this literature club?" She continued eating while she waited for my response.

"Well… you know, its books and all… you know I'm not really the reader type." _I'd rather not mention the poetry_.

My mom turned to me, "Then why did you go in the first place? It seemed a bit odd to me that you would go to a literature club meeting." She said, punching a hole through my alibi.

I noticed I was already done with my food so I saw this as my chance to escape as I stood up and took my plate to the sink and started to wash it.

"Sayori asked me to give it a shot, everyone seemed nice there so I decided I'd stay… they needed a fifth member and now that's me."

"That's very thoughtful of you, dear." She replied while she walked to me. "Are you 100% sure that's the reason why?" She teased. _Well, Monika but…_

I glared at her from the corner of my eye, clearly not amused.

She giggled "Alright, I'm sorry… It's none of my business." She left her plate on the sink, "As soon as you're done with the dishes meet me in your room, I've got something for you!" She announced.

"Is it the _thing_ you said I left back at the old place?" I wondered aloud.

"Ding ding ding! Bingo! You'll see it yourself in a moment, I can't believe you forgot about it." Her voice went dimmer as she climbed the stairs.

 _Let's see what it is it then._ I put the dishes aside so they could dry up and I made my way to my room as well.

I opened the door to my room and I understood what she meant. There, in the middle of the room, she was holding my old acoustic guitar. I used to play it all the time - _Not that I was any good_ \- to the point that my mom had to hide it from me while I did homework back in our old place. Not that I missed playing but I can't believe how I could leave our old home without something that, at the time, was so precious to me.

"I hope you haven't forgotten how to play" Said my Mom killing the silence in the room.

I just stood at the entrance of my room as I realized just how much the times have changed, I would get cranky if I wasn't able to play every single day back then but now I moved places and didn't even notice I left my guitar behind. Nostalgia flooded my heart as I struggled to keep a straight face. _How could I have left you behind?_

"I know it has been difficult for you to be moving around all the time… I can tell you're doing your best to keep up with what's going on, I really appreciate it, dear." My mom said as she walked to me and hugged me. _I guess she can tell I'm not feeling too good_

"Thank you, mom…" I tried to vocalize more but this time my mouth didn't keep going on its own as usual.

"I'll leave you two alone, Okay? Just don't stay up until too late!" She said cheerfully as she left my room.

I picked the guitar up and ran my fingers across the strings. _Ugh, a bit out of tune. Figures, haven't used it in quite a while._ I chuckled to myself as I quickly downloaded a tuner app on my phone and tuned the guitar once again after what seemed to be ages.

Once I was happy with the tuning I braced myself for my first reunion with my old instrument in a long time and… Nothing. _It's not that I don't remember my chords or scales… I guess I just don't know what to play. To be completely honest I'm still thinking about her…_

I plucked open strings for the better part of an hour like a zombie when I noticed my eyes beginning to close on their own. _I guess I'm not feeling it tonight… "_ I'm sorry, old friend, I promise we'll play some songs another day." I said, apologizing to my guitar.

I left it leaning against a wall and got ready to hit the hay when I heard a noise coming from inside the guitar. I picked it up and shook it to the sides to make sure the noise actually came from within it. It sounded like a small object that was inside the body of the guitar itself, I held the guitar above my head while I closed one of my eyes to get a better view of whatever it was making that sound while I kept shaking the guitar to get it to come out.

After a couple minutes of shaking around the guitar over my head like an insane caveman the sound disappeared as I felt something small hit my forehead followed by a fainter sound of it falling on the wooden floor of my room. I looked at my feet to search for whatever it was that was stuck on the guitar's body, it was a small guitar pick from back in the day. I put the guitar against the wall before I picked it up.

I held the pick between my thumb and forefinger as I inspected it. "Lucky 13" I read aloud. It was a fairly standard pick, it was black and had gold and red lines that formed the words while the '13' was engulfed in flames. _Very Rock N' Roll if I do say so myself_. _I remember the reason I decided to let my hair grow almost down to my shoulders was to look like those musicians._ I smiled once more as I grabbed the pick and left it on my nightstand. _I'll keep it as a 'lucky charm', pun intended, it brings some good memories._ It was already quite late so I went straight to bed. _I'll write my poem in the morning._

I just stood there as I saw Monika and Natsuki leave the clubroom, leaving me alone with Yuri. I can tell Yuri seems happy by their departure. _But why am I so scared?_

"Finally… Finally!" Yuri said while she walked back to me, almost cornering me at one side of the classroom. "This is really all I wanted. Dan…" I can hear her gasping in between each word. "There is no need to spend the weekend with Monika." _Wait, what? Why not?_ "Don't listen to her, just come to my house instead. The whole day, with just the two of us… Doesn't that sound wonderful?" Yuri finished while trying to catch her breath. I'm afraid of looking at her in the eyes as she is completely focused on me, like a lion waiting to jump on its future prey.

Yuri started to laugh. _Maniacally, I might add._ "Wow… There's really something wrong with me, isn't there? But you know what? I don't care anymore. I've never felt this good my whole life. Just being with you is a far greater pleasure than anything I could imagine." She kept her eyes fixed on mine, without even blinking once.

"Y—Yuri?" My voice trembled.

"I'm addicted to you." She interrupted."It feels like I'm going to die if I'm not breathing the same air as you. Doesn't it feel nice to have someone care about you so much? To have someone who wants to revolve their entire life around you?" She asked almost slightly returning to her more timid demeanor.

"Yuri, are you feeling okay?" I asked as if I couldn't tell already.

"But if feels so good…" She kept talking, ignoring my question. "Then why does it feel more and more like something horrible is going to happen?" Her pupils dilated once more as she looked at me. I can feel my heart racing and cold sweat running down my brow.

"Maybe that's why I tried stopping myself at first… But the feeling is too strong now. I don't care anymore, Dan." She took a sharp breath. _OH NO._ "I have to tell you!" She clasped her hands in front of her chest as if trying to retain some control over herself. "I'm… I'm madly in love with you! It feels like every inch of my body… every drop of blood in me is screaming your name. I don't care what the consequences are anymore! I don't care if—" I heard a loud screech from the depths of my mind, loud enough that I couldn't hear the next word Yuri said even though the inched closer to me with every word. I was trembling. "—is listening! Please, Dan, just know how much I love you. I love you so much that I even touch myself with the pen I stole from you." _WAIT, WHAT?!_ "I just want to pull your skin open and crawl inside of you." I tried to step back but I tripped and fell against the teacher's desk while she kept coming closer to me. "I want you all to myself. And I will be only yours. Doesn't that sound perfect? Tell me, Dan. Tell me you want to be my lover. Do you accept my confession?" She smiled at me at the end as if she couldn't tell I was absolutely terrified.

She stood there in silence waiting for my answer. I couldn't make a sound, I couldn't think clearly enough to realize she asked me a question. I never felt so much terror like now yet she looks as gentle as ever waiting for my response. I heard the screeching once more, louder than ever. I covered my ears with my hands but the screeching was unbearable to the point I had to scream in pain. As the noise faded out and I laid there on my knees. I turned to Yuri once more who now had a freakish grin on her face while she laughed to the top of her lungs once more.

I kept silent, unable to move as if bound by an invisible force when Yuri, amidst her demented laughter pulled out a knife and stabbed herself in the torso three times before falling to the floor writhing in pain before staying still. I could hear nothing after that. I saw my vision getting blurry as my tears fell across my cheeks but still unable to move my body. I tried to scream and although I could feel the air coming out my throat and my mouth open, I still couldn't hear a thing. "YURI!"

My eyes opened once more. But I was no longer at the clubroom nor Yuri in front of me. I saw an all familiar ceiling and an acoustic guitar leaning against the wall. I would've screamed some more, but I was in shock. Feeling a cold chill running down my spine as my mind replayed those images on an endless loop, yet I felt just a bit relieved. _It was just a nightmare, Right?_ I thought to myself as tears fell from my eyes.

* * *

A.N: Hey there! I've never left an author's note before so... yeah. Still! I just wanted to thank you for read all the way until here, I haven't posted any new chapters in quite a while to the point I'm afraid no one really cares about this story anymore besides my editor and me _cue nervous laughter_. In any case, There's 3 more chapters on store and I plan on posting them over the next weeks in order to give me more time to keep writing new chapters and keep a steady release schedule. Once again, thank you very much for reading! :D


	8. Chapter 8: Fallout

Chapter 8: Fallout

I sat on my bed, not sure of what to make of those nightmares.

 _Why would Yuri do something like that? Why did she say she was in love with me? Why the hell did she have a knife with her?!_

I took a deep breath to tried and calm myself down but I kept trembling for as much as I wanted to avoid it. I knew I should just go back to sleep but I'm too scared of closing my eyes and ending up dreaming something worse.

"Coward." My body jolted in surprise as heard a whisper from the back of my mind.

 _I thought I was alone in my room. And technically_ , I _was_.

But I wasn't alone inside my head.

It was the male voice from last night when I was over at the empty lot, calling me out on my reluctance to close my eyes.

 _Just what I needed._

I've barely blinked since I woke up, staring at nothing, trying to make some sense out of all that I saw.

 _Why would my subconscious conjure up such a specific scenario? I don't know Yuri well enough but, she doesn't seem the kind of person who would do what she did in my dream. If I should be dreaming with someone it should be Monika, right?_

"Not even in your dreams…" The voice scoffed at me once more. I felt frustration welling up inside me.

 _Why is that voice answering to what I'm thinking?_ _Am I going insane?!_

I spent the rest of the night sitting on the edge of my bed. Instead of trying to analyze everything I recalled from the dream, as I usually would, I kept staring at nothing.

 _If I think, he will keep bothering me. If I try to sleep, who knows what nightmares I'll have next?_

It was only until I saw the first rays of sunlight cast over the wall where I left the guitar on, that my body moved instinctively while I basked in the sun's warmth.

"Dear Sunshine…" I whispered to myself, trying to leave behind me one of the most horrible nights of my life.

I stood up and stretched my body. I figured that if the sun is rising that means it's around 6:00am, classes start at 9:00am so I still have plenty of time to get ready for school.

I walked over to the bathroom and looked myself in the mirror. My eyes were sunken and still somewhat red after spending such a long time keeping myself from closing them in order to not fall asleep again. I stepped on the shower and let the water run, wishing it would wash away my memories of last night.

 _At least the sound and feeling of water over me could keep me from thinking about all 'that'._ I thought to myself.

After I was done with my shower I felt reluctant to go back into my room, so I walked downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed myself a couple pieces of bread to have for 'breakfast'.

 _I'm not even hungry, it's just to keep myself busy thinking about anything else but my nightmares._

A couple minutes passed and my mom walked down the stairs, clearly surprised to see me there on the kitchen mindlessly eating bread.

A bewildered voice came from the stairs, "Daniel? What are you doing up so early?"

"Huh?" I mumbled as my Mother's voice took me off my trance. "Um… I… woke up hungry!" I said feigning a smile.

"Right…" She replied, struggling to take me seriously.

"Liar." The whisper accused me, making me frown to myself ever so slightly.

"Well… Anyway…" I huffed while I made my way back to my room.

Mom's gaze followed me as I walked upstairs, "You shouldn't go to sleep immediately after eating, Daniel. You could have nightmares." She warned.

 _Oh mother… you have no idea._

I walked inside and sat over at the desk where I left my schoolbag yesterday.

 _All I know is that I don't want to be near my bed right now._

So instead I grabbed my notebooks and checked if I had any homework for today in order to keep myself distracted.

An hour passed while I was done with history and math homework. It was only until I opened my English notebook that a sheet of paper fell graciously to the floor beside my desk. My poem from yesterday…

 _MY POEM! I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ONE YET!_

The sudden realization shook me awake and I devoted the better part of an hour to try and write something decent. Keeping in mind all the feedback I got from the girls yesterday.

' _Nightmares'. Let's see what they think of this one._

When I was done I put my new poem on my notebook and then all the rest went back into my bag as well. I walked over to my closet and changed into my school uniform.

 _Ready to have a day filled with energy!_ I thought to myself, assuming a heroic pose.

"Liar." The voice said dryly, calling me out once more.

I hunched over and my confident grin returned to the tired face I've been sporting all morning. "Yeah… I know…" I said, finally acknowledging the whisper while I made my way to school.

I was close to the school gates with an hour to spare before my first period began but to my surprise there's a lot of students already, most of them in little packs chatting _-or gossiping_ \- while others sit by themselves finishing homework. I was on auto-pilot during the walk to school but I only needed to catch a glimpse of a characteristic white puffy bow to kick my mind into action, and that was precisely what I saw.

Over at some tables I saw Monika talking with other students from her class. I figured so because Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki weren't in that group, so it wasn't about the literature club. It doesn't take a genius to realize that Monika is a very popular girl in this school. Just by the way I've seen her run the literature club I can tell she is most likely a straight-A student and she's also got the looks to boot. I could notice that among her group there were some boys trying to get her attention.

 _Figures._ I sighed to myself.

But even while being the center of attention she still sported a bright smile while she tried to listen to everyone and participate in the conversations that were being held. I couldn't help but cringe when some of the boys tried to grab her hand or touched her bow in order to gain her attention.

"Bastards…" I gnarled with my tongue behind my teeth.

 _Why am I feeling jealous over a girl who isn't even my girlfriend?! Man… I'm a total train wreck today…_ I thought while I kept looking at Monika but now ashamed of my reaction.

I continued walking mindlessly until I, inevitably, bumped into someone.

"BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU'RE WALKING!" Natsuki yelled.

"I—I'm sorry…" I said instinctively.

Natsuki pouted when she realized it was me who had bumped into her.

"Dan! What do you think you're doing!?" She barked.

I wanted to show her I was sorry but my face was stuck with my tired look from this morning, still I put my hands in front of me as I usually do when Natsuki yells at me.

My gaze fell to the side in shame. "I'm sorry Natsuki… I was distracted…"

She seemed to notice I wasn't in a good shape so she refrained from yelling.

"Like hell you were! You look terrible… More than usual…" She said while she looked away from me, crossing her arms.

"I know…" I couldn't come up with a witty response.

"Just… B- Be careful, Okay?" Natsuki calmed down before crossing her arms in front of her. "If you bump into someone else they may not want to hear apologies." She warned.

 _It's soothing to hear her worry about me_.

"Y… Yeah" I replied struggling to keep myself standing.

Natsuki sighed while she went on her way.

"Hey Natsuki." I turned around to call her, worried that my voice would be too low to be heard among all the chatter in the hall.

She turned back to me with a curious look on her face.

"I'll see you later at the club meeting, Okay? I'm really sorry I bumped into you." I gathered all my strength to try and pull off a smile so that she wouldn't worry about me.

Her expression changed to one of relief as she gave me a reassuring smile. "Right."

She turned and walked to her classroom while I did the same, but I still have plenty of time before classes begin. So I decided I'd test my luck and made my way to the terrace where I saw Monika yesterday although I'm worried she'll be preoccupied if she sees me in this state.

The terrace was disappointingly empty. Not a single soul but me was in there so it felt rather ominous. I thought of what side of the terrace Monika was in yesterday to at least try and get the view of the school grounds she has when she comes up here. I put my hands in my pockets as I paced around the terrace.

There aren't many tall buildings around the school so, from up here, you get a clear view of the sky. It really feels like a good place to come and be alone with one's thoughts while feeling the wind flow around you. I could find myself coming around here more often. I focused my energies on enjoying the clear blue skies of today before checking the time. I felt a bit energized while I walked back to my classroom almost looking forward to the rest of the day except that, unlike earlier today, there wasn't a whispering voice calling me a liar this time.

The day went on as usual but now it was even more tiring as I struggled to keep myself awake during most classes. Even on the class I shared with Sayori we both tried our best to keep the other awake by throwing little crumbled pieces of paper at each other or pushing the other lightly in an attempt to keep our attention on the lesson but to no avail, thankfully none of the teachers noticed our napping.

My last period ended early so I decided I'd head straight to the clubroom.

 _I want to try and talk to the girls before the meeting starts… or get some sleep before the meeting starts, whichever happens first._ I mused while I opened the door to the clubroom and found only one person already there… Yuri.

I stood frozen at the door as all the images from my nightmare that I've been trying so hard to avoid remembering all day flashed in front of me.

 _It's… it's just a nightmare, nothing else._ I repeated in order to get a hold of myself. I took a deep breath and walked over to an empty desk and left my bag there.

Yuri perked up from the sound of my footsteps, she was reading a book while she waited for everyone else to arrive for today's meeting. She turned around to see who it was and our eyes met for a brief moment.

"H—Hello… Dan." She stuttered while she hid her face behind her book.

 _Calm down… or you're going to make it worse for both of you._ I said to myself before I addressed Yuri.

"Hi Yuri! H—how's it going?"

"Everything is fine… thank you for asking." She relaxed a bit more and she left her book on the table, careful not to lose the page she was in.

I walked up to her and leaned against the desk adjacent to hers. "What are you reading?"

"Um… Ah… It's called 'Portrait of Markov'" She tried her best to look at me in the eyes.

"Haven't heard from it, what is it about?" I asked, attempting to give Yuri a chance to talk about something she's comfortable with.

"It's… horror…" She mumbled. As soon as I heard that word I remembered my nightmare again and cringed visibly.

"Ah! I'm sorry… I didn't mean to annoy you…" She apologized when she noticed my body quivering.

"No! It's not that! I just… Ah… I just shivered!" I explained, "I didn't know you liked horror, Yuri."

"I—it's for the plot!" She jumped to explain herself, "Any story that is able to transport you somewhere else and keep you intrigued about what's coming next is something that I really enjoy. I deeply admire how a writer can convey such imagery through mere words." Yuri tone had become solemn and tranquil.

Unfortunately for me, my lack of sleep got the best of me and I yawned in the middle of her talking.

She turned away from me. "I'm… I'm boring you…"

"No! Yuri! I'm very sorry… I couldn't sleep very well last night and I'm feeling very tired. But by no means were you boring me! If anything I'm now curious about your book… The Portrait of… Melkor?" I put on a silly smile hoping at least she will laugh at me.

"…Markov." She quietly corrected, before turning back toward me.

"And what did I say?" I asked, trying to play dumb.

Yuri chuckled allowing the weird tension between us disappear. "It was close enough, though." She reassured me with a small smile. Yuri took a brief moment to look at me, noticing I was hunched over and my face reading clearly 'Lack of sleep'. "I— I'm sorry you had an unpleasant night." She offered me a sympathetic smile.

"Oh! Don't worry Yuri, I guess that with all the moving places and the new school it was bound to happen eventually. But I do appreciate your concern." I said gladly as I have never seen Yuri smile like that.

She was a bit surprised by my words as she fiddled with a strand of her hair while she thought what to say. Her cheeks turned a bit red while she mumbled what she was going to say before saying it out loud.

"D—did you mean what you said… about my book?" She asked while avoiding eye contact once more.

"Yeah! I mean, I don't know much about horror but it has be pretty good if it was able to get your attention, Yuri."

"Well… I may have—"

The clubroom door opened with a loud thud and Sayori came skipping through, humming to herself. Both Yuri and I turned to her.

"Hey Dan! Yuri!" Sayori stopped in front of us.

"Hey 'yori!" I greeted her back.

"Yuri! Did you already give Dan the book you got for him?"

 _The 'what'?!_

"Ah!" Yuri's face turned red in an instant after hearing Sayori.

"Book?" I asked.

"Whoops!" Sayori covered her mouth with her hands.

"Um… Ah… I—it's just that… I… Uuu…" Yuri breathed heavily... Reminding me of my nightmare once more.

Sayori frowned as she apologized for her bad timing. "I'm sorry Yuri! I thought you had already—"

"Yuri… that was very thoughtful of you." I interrupted Sayori to try and keep this conversation from going downhill any further. "I don't read too often because I actually don't own too many books myself. It is a very nice gesture from your part." I gave her the most sincere smile I could muster with my tired face.

Yuri took a bit to breathe and collect her thoughts, "I—I just thought…" She turned back to Sayori and me, "I… wanted to apologize for leaving you so suddenly yesterday… It was very rude on my part and… I wanted to let you know that I enjoyed sharing poems with you… And… I thought that maybe I could share with you a book that I thought was very interesting… So that it could give you ideas for your writing…" Yuri took unusually long pauses while saying this but I am happy to hear her say what she thinks.

 _I'm glad that what happened yesterday was not because I made her upset._

Sayori's expression lighted up, back to her usual self. "You're very thoughtful, Yuri! Right, Dan?"

Just as she said this, Yuri went to her bag and swiftly pulled out a copy of 'Portrait of Markov' and offered it to me, holding one end of the book with both hands while hiding her expression behind her purple bangs, as if giving me the chance to reject her gift if I wanted to.

When I took the book I made sure I could catch a glimpse of Yuri's lavender eyes, "Thank you, Yuri."

She turned away from me and twirled her hair once more. "We can discuss it when you read it… If you'd like…" She whispered.

"Of course!" I replied as I proudly held my new book in my hands.

Amidst all this we didn't notice someone else had already come into the room. Natsuki was reading a volume of manga at the other side of the room, near the closet, minding her own business.

 _She likes Manga?_

I walked over to my chair so I could put the book in my bag. I turned again to Natsuki when our eyes met but instead of reacting explosively, as I would've assumed she would, she just waved silently from where she was sitting while I waved back at her.

 _Aren't we missing someone?_

As if I had just summoned _her,_ the door opened once more revealing a winded Monika about to enter.

 _Did she run all the way up here?_

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" Monika walked in trying to catch her breath.

Natsuki perked up from her reading and we all walked toward our club president.

"Monika arriving late? Now I've seen it all!" Natsuki smirked, but she was far from being done teasing, "Were you with your boyfriend?~" She nudged Monika's side with her elbow.

I cringed at the idea while Sayori was awestruck by Natsuki's comment.

"No way! Monika! Leaving your boyfriend to come to the club! You're so brave!" Sayori exclaimed.

I clenched my fist.

 _They're just joking around… right? RIGHT?!_

"Such determination" Yuri said solemnly.

"What in the world are you guys talking about?" Monika asked with a confused smile. "I was in study hall!" She explained.

 _So there's no boyfriend? Right? Please?_

"But even that makes no sense!" Natsuki pointed out. "If you were in study hall then how didn't you hear the bell ringing?"

Monika smiled confidently while holding her index finger to the side as she explained. "I was practicing piano! So the bell got lost beneath the sound of the music!"

 _So on top of all she also likes music? Give me a break! She's perfect!_

"Wow! You're so talented Monika!" Sayori was still very excited.

"It's very impressive you are able to organize your time during the day in order to handle all your responsibilities, Monika." Yuri complimented.

"Guys, please! I just started, it's really nothing, and I'm not even that good." Monika seemed flustered at all the praising.

"Do you know any songs already?" I asked.

Monika was quick to notice my tired demeanor. "Wouldn't you like to know~? Rough night?" She asked taking pity of me.

I could only smile embarrassedly back at her "I look like zombie, don't I?"

Sayori interjected cheerfully. "Maybe not like a zombie… More like a raccoon!"

"Okay everyone! Let's get this meeting going so this zombie can get some rest sooner~." Monika said as we all went to our desks and grabbed our poems.

The poem sharing was very much alike yesterday's. I first read Sayori's poem, who delivered in her promise that she would make a great poem.

 _Or, at least, I was very impressed by it._

It was called "Cups", it had a theme of 'Happy thoughts' being stored on small cups that Sayori would give to her friends to make them happy. She was very proud of it, and with fair reason as it was very much like Sayori herself but I was surprised as this was the first time I saw her write about something bittersweet instead of her usual cheerfulness.

 _I only hope she doesn't feel like she has to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders constantly to keep everyone happy, but it drove her to write an amazing poem like she promised. Makes me remember when I told her that she can count on me if she needs help. I hope that if it does come down to it, she reaches out._

She also noticed that my poem was inspired by my lack of sleep last night and so, she offered me an imaginary cup filled with 'happy thoughts' for a good night's rest tonight.

 _I feel somewhat undeserving of her kindness but no less thankful to have her as a friend._

Next up was Natsuki who also showed me a more elaborate poem than the one I saw yesterday, it was called "Amy likes snakes". It had Natsuki's trademark 'cute' style but it also packed a lot of meaning behind its unassuming appearance. She commended me for picking up on the small details.

 _In her personal way of doing so… 'It was so simple that not even you could miss it, dummy'._

She was reluctant to admit she liked my poem but we made a deal yesterday and she agreed to give me some writing tips after the club meeting so that I could 'write something good for a change'. After making fun of the bags under my eyes, she left to share poems with Monika.

 _The more I get to talk to her, the more I can tell her teasing isn't ill intended so I usually play along, which leads to both of us laughing at the other in good fun._

I thanked Yuri again for gifting me a copy of Portrait of Markov before moving on to sharing our poems. Hers was called "The Fox", it told the story of how she fed bread to a fox that showed up in her house; the fox kept coming back for food and she kept feeding it even though she knew she shouldn't do so. A feeling of anxiety flooded my body as I read her poem as she went into a lot of detail describing her cutting bread in order to give it to the hungry fox.

 _Even after having such a nice gesture with me, I can't forget my nightmare._

I tried to get Yuri to elaborate on the meaning of her poem when I noticed every couple sentences she would scratch her left forearm, almost like a nervous tic like when she twirls her hair if she is feeling flustered.

'Giving into one's innermost desires' she said, when explaining that the fox was a metaphor and not an actual being.

She complimented me on how I conveyed the feeling of restlessness on today's poem. Thankfully she seemed a lot more comfortable talking with me than yesterday.

 _I'm just overthinking things… It was just a bad night, it's not Yuri's fault._

And last but not least, especially now with my newfound feelings, I got to share my poem with Monika. Hers was called "Save me", I'd be lying if I said I wasn't caught off guard by the poem's title, but as I read on it turned out she was using computer jargon in order to compose her writing as the poem ended with 'Load me' in order to change the meaning to the poem's opening lines. _Clever._

Monika wasn't talking too much this time, she was studying my every move as I read and gave her my opinion on her poem; but just as I felt her attention was focused on me, it also seemed like she couldn't care less about what I said. When she read my poem I could notice she felt bad for me, since my poem revolved around the horror I felt last night.

"What was your dream about?" She asked.

"Uhh… I—I don't quite remember…" I murmured.

 _I'd rather not talk about it._

I heard from the back of my mind an all too familiar voice, "Liar, you've been thinking about it all day."

"I just know it had to be something horrible… I've never had a nightmare so bad that I would be too scared to try and sleep again." I said embarrassedly.

"Why those words, though?" Her voice was cold, she wasn't trying to have a conversation, she wanted answers.

"I—it was just what came to mind…" I wish I could have a more thoughtful reason behind my word choice.

"Your poem is very gloomy, Dan, perhaps you were trying to impress someone? Yuri perhaps?" Her green eyes piercing my soul as she said this.

"W—what?! I just tried to…" I drifted off.

She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

 _It's like when she told me I could leave the club, the air between us is very tense… What happened to the sweet girl I saw this morning?_

I gritted my teeth. "Y… you said that I could… I could use writing as a means to get to know myself better… So I wrote about something that made an impact on me…"

 _It's either my nightmare or my feelings, and I feel more comfortable talking about nightmares right now…_

I returned Monika's stern gaze and it was then when her face shifted to a look of realization.

"I'm sorry Dan… I know it's none of my business." Her gaze fell to the floor. "Thank you for taking into account what we talked about yesterday…" Her eyes focused back on to me and sparkled with the last rays of sunshine that came in through the window as she offered me a knowing smile. "I guess it's like it _'only makes sense to you',_ right?~"

 _Is that phrase going to be a recurring theme during our conversations?_

I can't resist her smile and can't help but smile back. "Right."

"I didn't mean to make you feel pressured… I know you're tired." She apologized.

"Don't worry… Um…" I struggled with words for a moment. "It's really cool that you play the piano, Monika… Perhaps one day I could… We could… Um…" I took a deep breath as I could feel my face going red, "I'd like to see you play…" I let out and exasperated sigh as I face palmed internally.

 _Smooth, Daniel, real smooth._

Monika let out a soft giggle. "You should try to get some rest first, Dan." I turned away disappointed, "But! If you keep up the quality of your poems we could try to figure something out~" Her voice turned my legs into jelly as I couldn't help but feel excited from the idea of seeing Monika play piano.

 _She'll be the end of me._

"Okay everyone!" Monika walked to middle of the room and addressed the club. "I'm very proud of how your poems are turning out! At this rate we'll do great at the festival!" She proclaimed.

 _At the 'what'?!_

* * *

AN: Hey there and thank you for reading all the way! As promised here's the weekly chapter update for this story. Any reviews and comments are always appreciated. It made me really happy to see that there's still people around reddit that still care for and enjoy these fics. I wonder how many people would think the chapter's name is a reference to the Fallout series or this being a crossover story :p.

\- Zatask


	9. Chapter 9: Sticking Together

Chapter 9: Sticking Together

"I've been talking with Sayori yesterday, and today as well, about what we should do for the school festival next week." Monika elaborated as she put a hand on her hip and her other hand's index finger pointing to the other side. "The Literature Club has grown quite a bit and, as you all know, all student clubs must do something special the day of the festival. This is our chance to show everyone what literature and this club are all about!"

"And also to try and find more members!" Sayori chimed in.

"Correct, vice president!" Monika smiled at Sayori.

Yuri and Natsuki, however, looked as if they couldn't believe what they heard.

 _I don't think I can believe it either. Hell, I didn't even know there was going to be a festival!_

"And… what were you guys planning?" I asked in a forcedly lighthearted tone.

"We're going to recite our poems in front of the school!" Monika and Sayori said in unison.

Sayori ran to her desk and pulled out a small poster promoting the literature club's festival performance. She grinned at all of us as she displayed it proudly.

You could hear a pin drop in the clubroom as Yuri, Natsuki and I weren't ready to have such a bomb being dropped on us only after our second day sharing poems.

"W—What?!" Yuri muttered nervously.

"You've got to be kidding me…" Natsuki hissed softly, crossing her arms.

Monika didn't seem surprised by our reactions, but looked dismayed nontheless. "I understand this may not sound very exciting, but I assure you—"

"No. You don't understand, Monika." Natsuki interrupted dryly.

 _Even after having her yell at me at least once a day for four days now, I've never seen Natsuki so upset. It's scary._

Natsuki looked at our president, clearly upset. "Why didn't you tell us this was your plan all along? You may be the president but our opinions matter too, you know? Do you seriously expect me to believe that you thought Yuri and… I would be happy with this?!" She barked at Monika. We all kept silent, never before having seen Natsuki this angry.

Sayori's smile faded away as her gaze fell to the floor. The silence in the room was unbearable while Monika stood in front of us with a cold look on her eyes.

Yuri whispered dejectedly. "I—I don't think I'm ready to share my poems with a large crowd…"

Sayori took a deep breath. "Guys… But… We've been having so much fun! All of your poems have been amazing and… we just wanted to share how proud we were of our club with everyone else!" She struggled to be as cheerful as she usually is, clearly taken aback by our aversion to the idea of reciting our poems in front of other students.

Monika kept to herself as she only turned her eyes toward Sayori while she talked. We all seemed to be waiting for her to say something but that moment didn't come.

 _I can only speak for myself. I don't know if I'd be able to recite a poem in front of other students without making a fool of myself. I can understand why Yuri and Natsuki are apprehensive as well, Yuri is very timid and Natsuki may think others will make fun of her. But it's obvious that Monika and Sayori were very excited about this and wouldn't want to see their efforts be thrown away and I can relate to that too._

Natsuki grew impatient as she perked up while she clenched her fists and put them on her hips. "What's the deal with getting new members anyway?! You said that we needed to be at least five people and that's the amount of people we have right now! That means they won't close the club! Why?!…" Natsuki took a deep breath as she was getting quite worked up. "Why can't this just be a place for us to hang out in peace?! I… I don't want more people here, Monika!" The last sentence rang out as a desperate cry.

Yuri silently nodded, perhaps too afraid to vocalize how much she actually agreed with Natsuki. Sayori looked down and let the poster fall to the floor.

The club was clearly divided: Monika and Sayori stood to my left while Natsuki and Yuri stood to my right. I hesitated to speak, not sure which side to take.

Monika's gaze shifted to me and turned into a deadly glare, almost as if she blamed it all on me, but her mouth uttered no sound.

 _I'm the only one who hasn't said a word about this… I'm the tie breaker._

I looked away from Monika, ashamed of how much I actually did agree with Natsuki and Yuri.

 _I really don't want to do this but it's obvious this means a lot to Monika and Sayori. Sayori, who was the only one who reached out to me when I had no friends in this new school. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have been part of the club. And Monika… The girl whom my thoughts always bring me back to._

I stole a quick glance from Monika and Sayori. Sayori was still looking at the floor, clearly upset by the argument while Monika only seemed disappointed. I could feel my heart clenching at the realization that Monika is probably regretting letting me be part of this club.

 _I want to see her smile again… I'd rather have Natsuki's anger be directed at me rather than at Monika or Sayori. I owe Sayori that much, at least, and Monika's happiness is worth any humiliation I could endure during the festival… I said I'd earn my spot on the club and this is the time to own up to my words._

Monika sighed as she closed her eyes and took a step toward the door, which only made my heart rush even more. I took a deep breath.

"Um…" I cleared my throat as I prepared to put myself on the line for the club's sake. "Natsuki, Yuri… I know… I really understand where you guys are coming from. I'd be lying to all of you if I said I'm stoked on the idea of talking in public, lest even reciting a poem to an audience but…" Natsuki and Yuri avoided looking at me. "But Sayori and Monika have put in a lot of effort into planning something for us to show at this festival. I don't think any of us can say that any of them have ever held any ill intentions regarding where they want this club to be headed. I can understand the desire to share something that is important to you with other people, and I've seen how happy someone can be when they are heard and understood by someone else."

I looked at Sayori who finally raised her gaze and our eyes met, hers shining when reminiscing the happiness she felt when she was able to bring a new member to the club; And so did Yuri's as she recalled how happy we both were about her sharing her favorite book with me.

Nonetheless, Natsuki still wasn't convinced.

I addressed her directly and she turned to me with frustration still burning within her pink eyes. "I know that you are afraid that this tranquil space you found may be disturbed by others, Natsuki. Change is a scary prospect… Take it from me, I've never been a part of anything until Sayori got me into joining the club. Always moving places and being an outcast anywhere I've been at. But if you knew of someone who needs a place where they can be at ease, like you say you feel at the club, wouldn't you like to help them find that place if you could?" I took another long breath as I felt my tiredness creep up on me.

"Listen… All of your poems are amazing; you all are very talented writers with your own unique styles. If what you're worried about is that someone will make fun of you because of how you write, forget about it right now. Because, if anything, the only one who has to be worried about their writing being a complete failure should be me…" I let out a sheepish smile.

"And thankfully for me, I have four talented poets that have been giving me feedback since yesterday so I won't fail so spectacularly… You guys have nothing to be afraid of… and if we can help our president show that literature is not about a bunch of boring books and homework but instead about expressing ourselves and having fun sharing, then…" I turned to Monika before finishing "…The club is worth the effort." I couldn't help but smile when I saw her emerald eyes sparkle after hearing what I said.

 _Now THAT was smooth._

Sayori walked up to me with a melancholic smile on her face. "Thank you, Dan. I knew you would do your best for the club." Her soft voice cracking a bit.

"I promised I would, didn't I?" I gave Sayori a smile.

Yuri spoke up. "I… I guess there is no harm done in trying."

"Ugh… Fine…" Natsuki admitted defeat.

"I know it's not very exciting for you Natsuki, I want you to know that I appreciate you putting in the effort." Monika's voice was soft and her words finally alleviated the tension that had been building up inside the clubroom.

"Yeah… Yeah…" Natsuki didn't seem angry anymore, but it's obvious she's still not looking forward to our part in the festival.

"Okay Everyone! I wanted to do something else today but it seems we ran out of time so… I guess we can call it a day for now." Monika showed an apologetic smile.

 _I wonder what she may have had in mind._

As everyone walked to their seats to grab their belongings, I noticed Natsuki seemed to be avoiding me.

I grabbed my bag and swung it over my shoulder before letting out a long yawn. When I opened my eyes, Monika stopped in front of me as she made her way out of the clubroom. Even though she was talking to me, she avoided eye contact as she was still staring at the door.

"Hey… Thank you… I know I should've been the one standing up for our plan for the festival but…" She trailed off, struggling with what to say. "There's just some things that aren't right and… I'm glad to know that you care for the club… I…" She turned to me once brief instant, but it was enough for me to be captivated by her eyes once again. "I'll need to talk to you tomorrow about something important, Dan… I hope you don't mind."

My heart skipped a beat. "Uh… um… Not at all!" I put up a silly grin while trying to get a hold of myself.

She chuckled at my awkwardness. "You better get some rest, Dan." She gave me a sheepish smile before she made her way to the clubroom door. "Bye everyone!" All of us waved her goodbye and soon after we left the room as well.

Natsuki left the school without saying a word to me. Concerned, I decided to talk to her.

 _Maybe she's still upset over the whole festival deal._

It didn't take me long to catch up to her, and she also seemed to have noticed I was running after her as she didn't even let me talk first.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked abruptly.

"Well…" My words got caught in my throat.

 _I shouldn't ask 'are you okay?' that's just going to get me in trouble. But I need to find out what she is keeping to herself about the festival._

"Y— you said you'd give me those writing tips, did you forget about it, Ms. Cupcakes?" I tried to lighten the mood.

"You think you're funny, Daniel?" Venom dripped from each word.

I stopped dead in my tracks. "Natsuki…" I began.

"Listen… I'm not in the mood to joke around." Her tone was completely calm, but I wasn't fooled into thinking that she wasn't upset.

"Then talk to me, Natsuki." I took a step closer to her.

Her pink eyes turned to me, full of turmoil.

"I—if you keep all those negative thoughts to yourself… Things may only get worse." I put my hands in my pockets, realizing the hypocrisy of my words in keeping my nightmare from my Mom and Monika.

Natsuki's face turned into a frown as she struggled to get the words out. "I—I just don't want to do it."

I felt bad for Natsuki as it was obvious she was still not on board with what Monika and Sayori planned for the festival. The fact that I 'sided' with them must have made Natsuki feel like I wanted to force her to do something she doesn't want to do.

 _I hope she's only mad at me and not at Sayori or Monika._

My face was riddled with guilt as Natsuki still struggled to say what she was thinking.

"Why?! Why did you made us agree to that stupid idea of reciting poems?!" Natsuki looked on the verge of tears. I felt a chill running down my spine as she continued. "Maybe you don't care because you're new around here, but I don't want people making fun of me! I have enough of that everywhere else for you guys to decide you will now ruin the club for me with this!" I stepped closer to Natsuki as she caught her breath, trying her hardest to keep her eyes from watering any further.

"You're right…" Her pink eyes locked with mine as she was unprepared for my response.

"Since I'm new in this school I don't know much about anyone around here. I don't know what kind of things you have to put up with every day before the club meetings. Hell, if it weren't by pure chance I wouldn't have met Sayori, and without her I would have never become a part of this club. But for that same reason I can tell you that you guys are simply incredible." I gave Natsuki a sincere smile. "You four have all been so nice to me even before I became part of the club. And after seeing how you write I can see you are all extremely talented in your own way." My gaze turned to the setting sun as a cold breeze flew past.

"As I said, if anyone would be made fun of, it would be me. A guy with no particular talent or knowledge about literature joining a literature club? I'm sure that more than one will think that I just joined so that I could make a move on one of you guys…" I faced Natsuki again with a lighthearted grin on my face. Her stern pose was belied by a light blush on her cheeks as she avoided my gaze.

"But I actually stayed because I could tell that this club means a lot to you all. It was the least I could do after you were so welcoming and nice to me. I didn't want that place to be taken from you because of some stupid school rules, and even if I have only been a member for a couple days, it has become a place I've come to cherish deeply, I'd like to consider Yuri, Monika, Sayori and of course Ms. Cupcakes here as my friends." I gave Natsuki a sly look as she raised an eyebrow at my use of the nickname.

"I'm very worried I'll make a fool of myself at this festival. But in the end I know that you four will more than make up for my utter uselessness. After all… I'm just filling up the spot for someone who will do a much better job at writing and discussing poems than what I will ever be, and maybe we'll find that person during the festival!" I tried to keep a lively attitude but Natsuki seemed more worried than before. "Natsuki… If you put in the effort into reciting like you do with writing and baking, you'll impress anyone who sees our performance, I promise!" I gave her a thumbs up, confident in my words.

Natsuki took a short breath before her gaze fell to the ground. "Does that mean you'll leave if someone who knows more about literature joins the club?" Her voice was still unsteady.

"Huh? Well… you guys need at least five members, if someone does a better job than me then…" I said nonchalantly.

"D—don't…" She managed to say before she clenched her fists and took a long breath. "Don't you dare leave the club, I told you that if you'd only had gone for the cupcakes I'd be super pissed!" She playfully threw a flurry of punches at my chest before showing me a cocky grin as if nothing had happened.

"I'll stay for as long as you want to have me around." I blocked her last punch with my palm and smiled back.

Natsuki sighed before addressing me once more. "Thank you, Dan." She smiled like when we walked home last time.

"Don't mention it, Natsuki. You guys are awesome, you deserve to know it." I reached out to her shoulder and gave her a friendly squeeze, she winced.

"S—sorry!" I apologized, bracing myself for the verbal beating to come. But Natsuki said nothing. "L—let's just get going… I—"

Natsuki was interrupted by the ringing of a cellphone.

Natsuki's eyes widened as she pulled her phone out. "Oh shit." Natsuki turned away in order to keep me from listening to her conversation. I looked around, trying to give her some privacy. "Yes… I know but—"

I could barely make out what Natsuki was saying but it seemed like she was trying to explain herself only to be interrupted by whoever was at the other side of the call every couple seconds.

"Y—yes… but—" Her voice cracked. Natsuki lowered her head. "Y—yes sir…" Her voice was all I needed to know she was on the verge of tears.

She put down her phone and only turned halfway toward me, but couldn't hide the newly formed tears running down her cheek.

"Natsuki?" I spoke hesitantly, reaching out. "What's going on?" I tugged on Natsuki's sleeve as she stepped out of my grip.

"I— I have to go, Dan… See you… See you tomorrow." She dashed away without further explanation, adjusting her collar as she went.

I stood there, too stunned to move. _When her shirt slipped, for a second there, it almost seemed like… Did I just see a bruise on her neck?_


	10. Chapter 10: Downward Spiral

Chapter 10: Downward Spiral

Frozen in shock, I helplessly watched Natsuki's petite form vanish into the distance. As I debated whether I could really believe what I'd seen, I flinched at the return of the voice that had tormented me earlier in the day. "No, it wasn't just your imagination," it spoke gravely. "I saw it too: the ugly bruise on her neck."

I groaned and massaged my temples. __Great, look who's back…__ I sighed. __I didn't think losing one night of sleep would cause me to hallucinate on this level.__

"You're too frightened to face the truth."

_ _Monika was right; I should really get some rest. Maybe then I'll be able to think straight tomorrow.__

"Do you really think so?" the voice challenged.

 __Oh, shut up_ ,_ I thought irritably. Shoving down my uncertainty, I took a long breath and shook myself awake before resuming my walk home. _ _I'm sure Natsuki is fine and there's nothing to worry about._

Once I got home I saw my mom watching some TV in the living room.

"Hey there, dear!" She checked her wristwatch. "You came home later than I expected; is everything ok?"

I paused before speaking, just wanting to escape to my room as quickly as possible.

"Um… Yeah! I had the club meeting, remember?" I forced a smile.

My mom smiled back. "Right, I can't believe I forgot. Are you ready for dinner?"

I responded sheepishly as I headed for the stairs. "I'm actually really tired today. I'd rather just go to bed already."

My mom looked surprised. "Are you sure? That isn't like you at all."

 __It isn't like me to hallucinate either.__ Turning around, I gave a big yawn before replying. "Yeah! I just had a long day, that's all."

The voice cut in. "Don't you want to elaborate? Your mother would want to know what's going on."

 __Nothing is going on_ ,_ I retorted. _ _You'll be gone by tomorrow.__

My mom cut into my thoughts. "Alright dear, rest easy. I'll leave your dinner in the microwave just in case you get hungry." Her compassionate tone reminded me of Sayori.

I gave her a grateful look. "Thanks. Goodnight, Mom."

I kept my mind empty as I dragged myself to my room, not wanting to provoke the voice. I tried spending some time on homework, but I was too exhausted to get anything done. Giving up, I decided to get some sleep, eager to end the day. Despite my fatigue, however, I had trouble drifting off. Not wanting to think about Natsuki, the festival, or the voice, I turned my attention to Monika. That seemed like a safe topic. _ _Monika… If anything could distract me from everything else that's been going on, it would be her. It seems silly that I feel this way after only just meeting her, but…__ My eyes fell on the guitar leaning against the wall, barely illuminated from the glow of the street lamps outside. A snort escaped my nostrils. _ _Monika said she was learning piano, right?__

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, now wide awake. _ _It hasn't been that long since I stopped playing. I didn't do very well last night, but it couldn't hurt to try again…__ I remembered my poor attempt to talk to Monika about something other than literature. __"Perhaps one day I could… We could… Um… I'd like to see you play…_ "_ "If I can't say much with words, maybe I can speak through music," I whispered aloud, grabbing my guitar.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I started messing around with various chords and scales, not bothering to even check whether the strings were still in tune. My fingers moved almost independently across the strings as I focused on how Monika made me feel. Even after two days of composing poetry, I didn't feel comfortable writing any lyrics; I didn't want to come off too cheesy or cliché.

 __Because that's not how I feel… Even when left to myself, I'm not comfortable addressing the feelings I have for this girl… I don't understand them. I don't understand half of what's going on with my life right now, these feelings, those dreams, and the voice inside my head… I don't understand any of it. How is it that the only thought that brings me solace is her? I thought I wouldn't be so hopeless if I ever found myself having these feelings, yet here I am trying to make a love song to express what I am too afraid to say with words… But even now, I don't feel embarrassed or ashamed. It's like my own subconscious knows that this the only way I could deal with what I'm going through. Art, creation… I feel pretentious just by claiming that I do 'art' but even I can't deny myself that the feelings behind this music are true.__

After some time, my thought process was interrupted by a loud yawn. My eyelids felt heavy and I hoped that after being true to myself about my emotions for the first time in a long while, I would finally be able to have some well-deserved rest.

I quickly grabbed a notebook from my schoolbag and jotted down the chords and notes I used so that I wouldn't forget them. "Good night's work, old friend." I thanked my guitar while I left it against the wall just like last night.

With the page in my hands I stood in front of the desk I had left my schoolbag on when I took out the notebook.

 __Should I… Take this to school tomorrow?__

I clutched the piece of paper with both my hands as doubt crept over me. The moonlight coming through the window reminding me that every waking second was a second of sleep I was missing out on, I had to make a decision quick.

 __Yeah, I take it to school and then what? "Hey Monika! I wrote you a song!" That's just stupid. She's the most popular girl in the whole school! Why in the world would she ever be interested in a loser like me?__

Swiftly defeated by my own insecurities, I folded the notebook page in half and put it inside one of the drawers of my desk before letting out a heavy sigh. "I'm hopeless…" I lowered my head while talking to myself, or so I thought.

"You will be with that attitude," interjected the now-familiar voice.

 __At least he didn't bother me when I was thinking about Monika.__ I simply rolled my eyes before falling onto my bed and finally feeling myself drift off into sleep.

I stood in front of a house quite similar to mine. It was beautifully sunny, but the temperature was cool enough to keep me from feeling uncomfortable. I was distracted, however, as I quickly realized I was not alone.

Yuri stood in front of me, dressed in a beige sweater and black leggings. She held in her left hand what seemed to be a large plastic bag containing some used paintbrushes and pieces of cardboard and kept her right hand close to her chest in accordance with her usual mannerisms.

Her lips were moving, I but I heard nothing. Still, her dreamy violet eyes and light smile made me feel at ease. Without warning, she took a step closer to me and grabbed my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

 __Umm, what is going on?__

Even though her actions caught me off guard, I didn't feel threatened. She drew even closer and whispered into my ear: "I kind of like that about you…"

Suddenly I found myself sitting against one of the walls near the closet in the back of the clubroom; Monika and Yuri stood chatting at the other end of the room. In the corner of my right eye, I caught a glimpse of a head of pink hair: Natsuki. Sayori, however, was nowhere to be seen.

I felt Natsuki point at something in my hands, and I looked down to see I was holding a manga volume. I followed her finger to one of the panels and was surprised to see nothing but vague shapes twisting and turning where the text should have been. Natsuki let out a soft giggle beside me.

_ _What kind of manga is this?!__

As I turned to Natsuki, an icy shiver ran down my spine. Complete darkness obscured where her eyes and mouth should've been. Staring at the manga in my hands, her laughter became louder and more distorted.

Natsuki suddenly fell silent and twisted toward me. The ground tilted beneath me as my mind became newly filled with the sound of static. I wanted to look away, to scream, to run for my life, but the scene left me petrified with terror. Natsuki's face seemed to grow, obscuring my field of vision as blackness poured from her eyes and mouth into the world around me. Blood began to pour from my eardrums as Natsuki's face finally stopped expanding in the inky darkness. Holding what I was sure to be my last breath, Natsuki's neck snapped with a loud crack, head dangling at an unnatural angle. As a scream finally ripped from my throat, all light disappeared completely and I fell mercifully into unconsciousness.

I jumped out of bed, covering my mouth and running to the bathroom as I immediately felt the urge to throw up. Luckily, I made it to the toilet before emptying the contents of my stomach into the bowl. After the upheavals subsided, I sat back, trembling and defeated.

"Hey, you aren't looking too good," the voice announced from inside my mind.

I banged the back of my head against the wall, trying to forget the hell I had just experienced. "What… was… that…?" I asked to no one in particular, yet hoping to get an answer. My vision blurred as the image of Natsuki's grotesquely distorted face sprang unbidden into my mind. I quickly grabbed the toilet seat like a life preserver as the disgusting taste of bile rose again in my throat. Managing to keep my mouth closed, I grabbed onto the sink and managed to pull my aching body to its feet.

 __What's happening to me?__ I thought desperately. Glancing in the mirror to take stock of my physical condition, my confusion and fear only grew stronger. It wasn't the messy hair, pale skin, or my skeletal figure that worried me.

Instead of a natural dark brown, my right eye shone amber yellow.


	11. Chapter 11: Rainclouds

Chapter 11: Rainclouds

I was speechless. Even my trembling had gone away from the shock I was in. I quickly turned the cold water tap on and splashed my face, with maniacal but still careful emphasis on my right eye.

"What is going on? What is going on?! What. Is. Going. On?!" Were the only words I could mutter.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, obsessively fixated on my right eye. How its color unsettled me; How this, out of everything that has happened to me so far, was what most disturbed me.

My pupils dilated and my breath grew heavy as I tried to find an explanation for my eye suddenly changing color.

 _I haven't hit myself in the head or anything, have I? I've only been missing out on sleep but even that shouldn't be a cause for a physical change of this nature._

"Using those fancy words change anything, you know?" The voice inside my head quipped.

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" I closed my eyes and screamed as hard as I could out of frustration. So hard that my throat was now hurting.

Then, silence. The voice didn't say anything and neither did I.

I covered my right eye with my hand and looked myself in the mirror once again. Besides my iris changing color, everything else about me seemed like usual. Or at least I hoped so, I was too agitated to say for sure.

I walked back to my room hoping my screaming didn't alarm anyone as it was around 5:00am. I sat on the edge of my bed and held my head in my hands as now my mind replayed my nightmare from last night and tonight as well.

The image of Yuri stabbing herself; of Natsuki with no eyes or mouth breaking her neck and jumping at me; played over and over in my mind as I started to hyperventilate.

 _Why. Why. WHY?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!_

Tears fell across my face as I tried to suppress my sobs.

 _I've tried my best to deal with everything that's going on with me but I think I'm at my limit._

As I admitted defeat against my circumstances I also couldn't hold my sobbing to myself and instead threw myself into my pillow to try and drown out the sound of my own failure from the rest of the world. In the end I cried myself into a couple more hours of dreamless sleep.

"Poor thing." I could barely make out a voice during my sleep, a voice familiar to me spoke with a kind tone, but I couldn't identify who was talking before my hearing was engulfed by static.

I woke up to the feeling of someone caressing my cheek, a cold but soft hand was leaving the curve of my face as my senses detailed my surroundings. I felt my eyes burning and my eyelids heavy from my earlier outburst and through my ears only came the sound of a light tapping on the window. The feeling of the hand that had caressed my cheek lingered on my memory but as I turned to find the owner of that hand I found that I was still alone in my room.

I raised my body and took a deep breath, even with how ashamed I felt about breaking into tears, I felt somewhat relieved. After scratching my sore eyes, my hand went to my cheek as if reminiscing the soft caress that awoke me from my sleep.

' _I guess… No one has touched my face so kindly in a long time…'_ I thought mournfully.

The gentle tapping on the window made me notice that my room was quite dimly lit.

 _Shouldn't the sun be up by now?_

And just as I wondered, as if on cue, my alarm clock went off. It's ringing didn't startle me even though it was a loud noise, instead I just turned toward it and without even turning it off, I read the time.

I was rather confused, "…7:00am?" My gaze turned back to the window which only let in a soft light from the outside and it only took a peek through the curtains to answer my questions.

The sky was very gloomy, populated mostly by large grey clouds that barely let any sunshine come through, and the gentle tapping on the window were a few droplets of rain.

 _There hasn't been any rain since we moved in here._

I rose from my bed and stretched my body before taking my school uniform from the closet. My actions were quite mindless, automatic as if I was just a robot following a set of orders. It was only when I ambled toward the bathroom to take a shower when my mind got kick started by the sight of my reflection in the bathroom mirror through the corner of my eye.

 _My eye…_

A chill crawled all over my body as I remembered the sight of my miscolored eye. I was too afraid to face reality so instead I went straight to the shower. The cold morning weather was driven away by the feeling of falling hot water which helped me relax my muscles. As I walked outside the shower, the bathroom was now shrouded by hot steam that –thankfully- had obscured my reflection in the mirror.

Still, my curiosity was piqued.

 _Maybe it was all part of the nightmare. Maybe I was just seeing things._

I remembered the soothing feeling of the hand that caressed my cheek before I woke up minutes ago and, somehow, that gave me the courage to look at my reflection once again with –hopefully- a cooler perspective.

I covered my right eye with my right hand while my left wiped a section of the mirror clear from the steam. My breathing started to accelerate as I feared that I would still see an amber colored iris. After taking a deep breath I closed my eyes and leaned closer to the mirror before opening both eyes in a quick motion, like removing a Band-Aid.

In my reflection there was a face of disbelief as this time, my right iris was back to its usual dark brown color, identical to its left counterpart. But instead of relief I only felt ever more confused about my situation. After a couple seconds inspecting my eye, lightly pulling the skin around it to check for any wounds or unusual signs, my face looked like it always did. Terrible. But at least it was the kind of terrible I had grown used to, so that was a good sign.

"I don't understand…" I huffed.

I walked back into my room and got into my uniform. Made my bed. The usual routine before walking downstairs followed by the same light sound of raindrops falling on every window. As I went to the kitchen counter looking for something to eat, I was instead greeted by a lone piece of paper with a note from Mom:

' _Daniel, I walked into your room to say goodbye but it was obvious that you were sleeping like a log and you would get mad if I woke you up when you mentioned you were very tired. I'll have to leave for a couple days as work will now be back in full swing. I left you some groceries so there's no excuse for you to only eat instant noodles while I return! I hope you have a good week at school and at your club, I'll be texting you to see how you're going!_

 _Love You!'_

 _So she's leaving again…_ I sighed before folded the note and left it over the counter before I resumed my quest for breakfast. After munching down a quickly made sandwich in order to muster enough strength to last until first break, I began my usual stroll toward school. Not before locking my front door.

While I took my first steps I noticed the rain droplets that fell on my clothes were more than the droplets the tapped on my room's window. As I looked above me, the once grey skyline had now turned into an ominous rainstorm waiting to be unleashed upon the world.

I figured I'd waste more time going back home looking for an umbrella so instead I ran toward school before the rain got any worse. Which turned out to be a terrible idea because the raindrops that fell on my face made it even more difficult to see what was just a couple feet ahead from me, making me doubt every step I took, praying I wouldn't trip and fall on my face.

As the rain grew stronger with every couple steps, I failed to notice that the sound of rainfall was very similar the white noise from my nightmare until I felt that I was no longer running toward school but instead running for dear life away from some kind of monster that was hunting me down. At that point I ran as fast as I could, until my legs ached as if I had been running a whole marathon until the inevitable finally occurred.

As I felt my hearing being engulfed once more by the static noise, my left foot stepped on a puddle that covered a hole in the pavement and I fell face first into the sidewalk, having just enough time to put my arms in front of me to cushion my fall yet not making it any less painful.

"Oww… Goddammit…" I growled as I struggled to get myself back on my feet.

"Hey! Are you Okay?" A female voice sounded very worried as she came closer to me, but this one was a voice I did recognize.

"S… Sayori?" I turned around and found my dear friend Sayori with a very concerned frown on her face as she offered me a hand to help me get back up, while with her other hand she held a light orange umbrella.

"D— Dan?! Wha—what are you doing here?!"

"I'm going to school, just like you!" My words came out far more sarcastic than what I intended but I didn't expect to see Sayori, of all people, during my mad dash through the rain.

 _Doesn't Sayori live opposite from where I live?_

"Are you, mister?!" Sayori pouted, "Because if so, why aren't you there already? If you're coming from your house you should've reached school long before ending up around here, Dan!"

 _Busted._

"U—Umm… Well… That's because…" I mumbled as I couldn't come up with any valid reason.

' _I was somehow teleported here!' Isn't a valid reason._

Sayori's pout was morphing into an angry glare. She put an end to my mumbling when she stomped the ground and crossed her arms in front of her.

"Dan! You better not be planning on skipping class!" She scolded. Even when hearing Sayori mad at me for the first time, her sky blue eyes sparkled and made it hard for me to feel intimidated.

I held my hands in front of me as a makeshift defensive barrier against such accusations. "N—No! Not at all Sayori! I was running toward school when it the rain got so intense that I couldn't see very well in front of me, after running some more I tripped and fell over, that's when you appeared!"

Sayori's expression relaxed somewhat but she still looked unconvinced by my explanation.

 _It's still quite farfetched but it is the truth._

The rain still raged on and every passing moment only helped to get me even more drenched. Strands of hair fell over my face because of my fall and also due to the rain that was messing up my hairstyle. Still I was more worried about how Sayori doubted me, even if we hadn't met too long ago I still hoped I had done enough to earn her trust as she had earned mine.

I looked into her eyes, "Come on 'Yori… You know I wouldn't lie to you, right?"

"I guess not…" Sayori second guessed herself before offering me a soft smile, "I was afraid you would seriously consider skipping your classes, Dan! That not good at all!"

For a brief instant, the voice inside my head came back, "That just shows that she cares for you…" But just as suddenly, he disappeared.

I chuckled at how she made such a big deal of out of this. _I guess you're right this time._

"Wha?! What are you laughing at?!" Sayori jumped up, surprised by my reaction.

"Hehe, you're exaggerating Sayori! Come on, it's not like I would get a death sentence for arriving a couple minutes late to my first class." I snickered.

Sayori pouted once more as she bridged her index fingers, "Meanie!"

Her reaction made me chuckle again, "Isn't that how I met you in the first place?"

"Huh? Hmmm…" She put her index finger on her lip while she tried to remember.

I quirked my eyebrow, "Come on, Sayori, It was four days ago!"

"I know that!" She quipped, "But I only remember that I met Dan after I… took a nap." Sayori said with a nervous smile.

"Nap? You were sleeping during math class, Sayori! I saw you!"

Sayori got flustered now that it was I who was calling her out, "Uwaaa! Meanie!"

"Then I sat next to you and it was then when we became friends." I let out a warm smile.

 _It is a nice memory, I'm glad I met Sayori that day._

Sayori calmed down and smiled back at me, even during this rainy morning she still shines like the sun with her positive energy.

"Yeah! That, I do remember!" Her enthusiasm back at full swing, "Dan! We have to get going! Look at you all wet! You could get sick!" She said before jumping toward me raising her umbrella so that it would also cover me from the rain.

Feeling the raindrops hit the umbrella instead of my head was a welcome change but it was then that I noticed that Sayori's umbrella was designed to fit only one person under it as the top of Sayori's head was directly under my chin.

I felt my cheeks getting warmer because of how close Sayori was to me, and she seemed to be flustered too as she awkwardly tried to keep us both covered from the rain while avoiding too much physical contact between us.

I figured I had to make myself useful somehow, "Umm… want me to hold it for you?"

"Ah! Y—Yes! Thank you Dan!"

We squirmed around trying to get the umbrella's handle from her hand into mine without pushing the other off into the rain. I accidentally touched Sayori's hand which made her move it away in a flash, and in turn making the umbrella's pole bump my head.

"Ow!" I winced before I finally grabbed the handle.

Sayori giggled nervously, "Sorry!"

"It's fine." I said while raising the umbrella over our heads. Only then I realized how much we had gone through over such an otherwise simple maneuver, which made me chuckle once again.

"W- What's so funny?" Sayori still was a bit flustered.

I kept laughing, "That shouldn't have been so complicated."

Sayori's face lighted up again as she laughed with me, "Hehe! Sorry!"

"Let's get going, 'Yori" I spoke with newfound enthusiasm.

As there wasn't much space under the umbrella for each one to follow their own pace, Sayori decided we would have to walk in perfect unison. Sayori walked in front of me, keeping an eye out for any holes on the ground or particularly large puddles of water that could mess up our marching while I made sure we were both covered from the rain. During the first couple blocks we walked, she would call out 'right' or 'left' in order for us to take the next step with the same foot and avoid tripping over each other. Even if I had never marched before it didn't take long before we got used to walking together this way, eventually Sayori didn't need to call right or left, instead she started humming a variety of lively melodies until we were almost at our school, where she went back to issuing directions, just for fun.

I walked her to the building where she had her next class and when we finally were safe from the rain under the structure, I collapsed her umbrella and shook off the raindrops off before Sayori turned to me.

"Great marching, Pvt. Dan!" She exclaimed while she saluted me while sporting a sweet smile.

My face formed a light smile before I quickly moved my feet together and saluted back, "Good enough for a promotion, Sir?"

"Hehehe! Alright soldier! Now you are Lieutenant Dan!" She declared.

"It's an honor to serve alongside you, Commander Sayori, sir!"

 _I'm not quite sure if the rank of Lieutenant goes after Private, but I'm not going to complain._

Silence filled the hall while we saluted each other until neither of us could hold in our laughter any longer. After gently shaking Sayori's umbrella once more, I gave it back to her.

"Here's your umbrella, Commander." I said with a grin.

Sayori took her umbrella and skipped over to her classroom.

She turned to me once more, with a smile that shined over the stormy weather. "Thank you Dan, you are a very good friend."

 _She did say we would become best friends. At least, I feel like we are now._

"You deserve it. Thank you, for being my friend, Sayori." I gave her a wide smile while she opened her classroom door.

Sayori's smile grew even brighter if that's even possible, "See you at the club!" She said before closing the door behind her.

 _It's impressive how her smile can shine even through such a stormy weather._

I heaved out a short sigh as I turned around, looking for the building I should be having my first period on at this time. It was at the other side of the courtyard but walking or even running through it was out of the question as I had no intention of getting myself soaked, but that also meant that I would have to take the long route around the building where the clubroom and the terrace were on.

With a dejected huff I started walking. As most students were amidst their first period of the day at this time, the halls were desolate, only disturbed by the sound of teachers' lessons from within the classrooms. Although it wasn't anything unexpected, the eerie silence of the halls, only interrupted by the sound of the outside rainfall and my own footsteps grew ever more unsettling, to the point where I would turn my back every couple steps just to make sure nothing was following me.

My class was at the second floor of the school building, since the buildings surrounding the courtyard were connected, once I reached the stairwell that usually led to the literature club's room I figured it was a good a time as any to climb up to the upper floor. Once I was done, I resumed my walk toward my classroom when I was alerted by a sharp sound echoing from upstairs, like someone breathing through their teeth. It was suspiciously loud for me to be able to hear it from a floor below but then it was followed by the sound of heavy breathing that was slowly fading away, running away.

 _Shouldn't everyone be attending class right now?_

My curiosity got the best of me and I made my way to where I thought that breathing came from. The sound was faint but I was still able to track it through the empty corridors and the sound of rain from outside, every step making my heart beat faster.

It was only when I heard whoever was making the sound stopped moving that I also became more aware of the sound of my footsteps, trying to tread ever so lightly in order to not reveal my presence.

 _Why am I being so sneaky about this? It's not like I'm a spy chasing another spy or anything like that._

Still, my gut just told me I shouldn't let myself be heard. As I inched closer to the corner behind which the breathing came from was when I noticed that the rain hadn't subsided one bit and now had become a rainstorm. I flinched at a sudden ray of light that came through the window and the roaring thunder that came seconds later. I only poked my head around the corner before my blood froze at the sight of Yuri sitting against the lockers with a blade on her right hand and a thin trail of blood flowing from her left wrist into her forearm.

The sudden rush of dread and anxiety that was enveloping my body kept me from doing any sudden movements or noises that would've alerted Yuri of my presence. Her purple hair covered her eyes, but the heavy breathing I heard was undoubtedly coming from her, I couldn't make out her expression but she was trembling violently, anxiously.

A chill ran down my spine as the memory of seeing her stab herself in my nightmare was more vivid than ever before as she was holding the same knife she held during that dream.

 _Why are you doing this, Yuri?!_

My mind raced desperately trying to find some logic to this whole situation but I was instead morbidly wondering what she would do if she just turned her head to the left and caught me spying on her.

 _W… Would she… attack me?_

I couldn't believe this was the same gentle girl that had trouble speaking her mind and who had just gifted me a book yesterday, but still there she was almost admiring the sight of the droplets of blood dripping down her forearm.

My thought process ground to a halt when Yuri suddenly stopped trembling. I could feel a pit down my stomach as I could already picture her turning toward me and not liking very much my presence here.

Just as terrified as I was, the voice inside my head stuttered, "W—what are you w—waiting for? E—eh? D—do s—something!"

Yuri took a deep breath and held it in before laying the knife at her side, and as she exhaled during one final heavy sigh, her head looked downward and her body swerved to the side, about to collapse.

Finally, my instincts kicked in and I ran toward her, holding her falling body in my arms before laying her softly on the floor. It was then that I kicked the knife away from us before I pinned her arms and straddled her to keep her under control if she were to react badly to my interfering. I failed to notice then how compromising that position actually was.

She shook her head lightly to move her bangs away from her eyes and her gaze met my own, her violet eyes showing a mixture of confusion and fear.

"D—Dan?" Her voice trembled.

I couldn't help but frown as it would be a matter of seconds before she realized I saw her cutting herself. I felt like I should scold her, ask her what in the world was she thinking of by doing this until I figured that I may not know the whole picture just yet and making her feel worse about herself won't help anyone.

My eyes were fixed on hers. I sighed, "Hey… Yuri."


	12. Chapter 12: A Little Devil

Chapter 12: A Little Devil

The sound of rain coming from outside was the only thing we could hear. Even after taking her by surprise and pinning her to the ground, Yuri was oddly calm about my sudden appearance.

Our eyes were fixed on each other but no one dared to say anything. I felt fear engulfing my chest every time I thought about speaking, not sure where this situation could lead us if it were to go downhill. Even with how franticly my mind was trying to grasp what was going on, in the end, the only thing I could focus on was our breathing, which was strangely synchronized.

It was only when I felt a warm feeling on my right palm that I realized that I was holding Yuri right were her open wound was, and that the warm feeling was her blood flowing into my hand.

"You must hate me…" Yuri's voice broke the silence.

I ignored the feeling of her blood in my hand and turned back to her, but now her expression was one that I never thought I'd see on Yuri's face yet there it was, she was crying.

"Yuri…" Was the only thing that I could mutter while my mind kept trying to keep up with what was happening.

She was trying to hold her sobbing, "I—I'm despicable…"

I could feel my heart breaking at the sight of her crying, I only wished there was a way I could help her but I had no idea of what to do.

She turned her hands into fists and began trembling once more, "I'm the worst…" She whispered between her teeth.

"Yuri!" I raised my voice, trying to snap her out of it.

She froze in place still sobbing with her violet eyes trained on me, unable to stop the trail of tears that ran down her face.

"I don't hate you…"

"B—But…" She turned away, her bangs hiding her eyes from me.

I felt sympathy for Yuri. In the sobbing girl that laid beneath me I could see myself this morning after I had my nightmare. Trying her best to keep herself composed, and failing miserably.

 _We're keeping too much to ourselves, too much for our own good._

I released her right hand in order to use my fingers to move her hair away from her eyes, and have her look at me once again.

"I don't hate you, Yuri... But I need you to tell my why did you do it." I said trying to be as kind to her as I could.

"I—I…" She stuttered, at the verge of tears once again.

"Breathe… slowly." I suggested, stroking her hair.

She did as I said while I used my thumb to wipe off the tears from her cheeks.

I looked for the knife I kicked away when I caught Yuri before she collapsed. I was further down the hall from us.

 _We're not going to get anything done with me holding her to the ground. If the worst happens and she attacks me like on my nightmare… She might as well would be doing me a favor by killing me already._

I sighed and closed my eyes while I let go of her other wrist and stood up, I offered her my clean hand to help her get up as well. When she stood in front of me I noticed how I was only a bit shorter than her, but I was still able to look at her eyes without her having to look down on to me.

"D—Dan… Please… Forgive me…" Yuri's voice was still trembling when she took a step closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder.

I stroked the back of her head with my clean hand, noticing that she was fidgeting with her hair like she usually did.

"I—I'll try my best to understand, Yuri… Tell me why." I asked once more.

Yuri moved away from me and sat beneath the window in the hall, holding her knees close to her as if hugging herself.

I sat beside her with my elbows over my knees, Yuri was hiding herself behind her arms so I figured I should keep an eye out if anyone were to walk down the hall.

"Yuri…" I pressed again.

"D—do you know… What it's like to be alone?" She whispered, "Truly alone?"

Yuri's words stung, even if she wasn't trying to make me feel bad, her question was the kind of question one wouldn't like to respond affirmatively to. But I did, and that's what hurt.

 _Does she feel like I do? Lonely?_

I turned to her and from the corner of my eye I could see a couple of lavender eyes looking at me worriedly, waiting for an answer.

I sighed heavily, "Yes… I do…"

"I sit by myself… during lunch, breaks, class…" Yuri's voice was melancholic and it pained me to see her in this state, "All the time, I am by myself. I only have my books to keep me company… Stories of faraway places and ofpeople that help me forget that I am alone. People make fun of me… For my mannerisms, my body, how I enjoy books so much… When I get the chance to speak my mind about my books, people seem bothered by my enthusiasm…" She turned to me, "D—Dan… T—they say I am a freak…"

I could do nothing but feel sorry for Yuri as in some way I am part of her problem. When I met her on my first day, she helped me find my classroom and the only thing I really noticed was her purple hair and her figure, not even bothering to ask for her name until I met her again on the club. Even then I was off put by her timid nature. But as I got to know her better I also came to appreciate how talented and passionate she is about literature, and it's a shame that she is bullied because of it.

Yuri sobbed softly, again trying her best to keep her composure, "M—most of the time I don't care about what they say about me… I—I still have my books that is good enough for me… B—but when it's too much for me to handle… When m—my emotions get out of control…" Yuri rolled back her left sleeve, which was covered in cut marks, most of which had already turned into scars and closest to her wrist was her latest cut. She stared at her forearm shamefully, "This was the only way I found that I could… Control myself and… I—I hate it…" She stated, with tears falling across her face.

I inched toward her, just so that our elbows touched before my arm went behind her and gently pulled her closer, her head lying again over my shoulder.

"H—how am I supposed to stand up to what they say about me when… When I do things like this?! I can only hope they d—don't find out about my…" Yuri stopped herself mid-sentence.

Frustration got the best of me as I spoke my mind, "Yuri, enough!" I felt her body tensing, as if she was preparing to get scolded, "You are not a freak or whatever those people call you, alright? You are a very intelligent person, you enjoy your books in peace and also you are a talented writer, your poetry impressed me since our first day of sharing poems. If the others don't want to see that then it's their loss, not yours! So do not listen to them! I'm sure everyone in the club would agree with me when I say you are a great person and a good friend."

Yuri turned to me, her eyes at the verge of tears once more, "D—do you mean it, Dan?"

I found myself endeared by her reaction and couldn't help but smile at Yuri, "Of course! But we do have to do something about this, Yuri…" I said as I lightly grabbed her wrist to make myself clear.

Yuri quickly pulled her wrist from my grasp and buried her face in her palms, "I'm so sorry…"

I turned to my left and saw Yuri's knife down the hall. I grabbed it and returned to where I was sitting at Yuri's side.

"I'm keeping this, alright?" I stated while I inspected her knife.

It wasn't a regular kitchen knife or a switchblade, even for someone who had no clue about blades, I could tell there was a lot of skill put into crafting this tool. The blade had a light blue tint and the handle was engraved with a pattern reminiscent of waves, this was a collector's item.

Yuri twirled her fingers, "D—Dan… You can keep it I—if you want b—but…"

"Yuri, I'd rather not have you holding onto this. We have to find you a better way to deal with your anxiety and the first step is getting this knife away from you." I declared trying to put up my best voice of authority.

Even with what little light there was in the hall, I saw Yuri's cheeks turn pink, "W—Well… I should tell you that…" She was clearly embarrassed, "I have a collection of knives over at my house."

I could feel myself sweatdropping at the bluntness of her words. I let out a heavy sigh, "Still, I'm keeping this one. And you better get those at home inside a box or something where you can't get them so easily, Ma'am!" I scolded before smiling at her.

For the first time during our encounter I saw Yuri smile. It was a soft, almost invisible smile, but after watching her cry, her smile was something very noticeable.

 _I guess that's that. Now we have to find a way to help Yuri deal with her anxiety in a less harmful way._

We both sighed one again and Yuri turned to me before letting out a worried gasp.

"Dan! Y—your hand!" She whined as she saw her blood on my hand, "Here!" Yuri pulled out a handkerchief for her blazer and started cleaning my hand.

"W—wait! Yuri, your wrist!" I scrambled to get her handkerchief and used it as a makeshift bandage for the cut in her wrist. It was saddening to the how the otherwise white piece of cloth was turning red with Yuri's blood.

Yuri stared dumbfounded at me, "B—but your hand is still dirty with m—my…"

"Yuri. I need you to worry about yourself right now, alright?" I interrupted.

She balled her hands and turned away from me briefly before addressing me directly with a pout, "I—I should say the same about you, Daniel!" I was so surprised of her reaction that I had not time to say anything, "Shouldn't you be in class?! Why were you walking around the halls at this time?!"

Yuri's pout made it hard to feel intimidated, having her worry about me skipping class was actually endearing.

"W—well! That's because I was running late because of the rain!"

Silence took over our conversation as Yuri noticed she had raised her voice at me.

"I'm so sorry… Uuu… Umm… I don't usually raise my voice like this…" She buried her face in her palms.

 _I guess it was just a matter of time before she went back to second guessing herself._

I let out a chuckle, making Yuri move her hands away from her face as her eyes were fixed on me, "W—why are you laughing?" She asked apprehensively.

"I must admit that I'd rather be here with you than in some boring chemistry class." I said with a grin.

"D—Dan! But you must not skip your classes!" Yuri said worriedly.

I simply turned at her with an unimpressed look on my face, "You were skipping class too, you know?"

Yuri put up a shy smile and held her bandaged hand close to her chest, "I guess… There's a little devil inside all of us…"

I said nothing, instead I just sat beside her with a smile across my face. But then the whisper in my head came back.

"S—she's not talking about m—me right?!" He said worriedly.


End file.
